Change is coming
by Jadiebeth
Summary: The gang three years on after uni...i'm rubbish at these so just try it, you might like it. Naomi/Emily Emily/? Naomi/? Effy/Freddy Effy/? there are lots of couples!
1. Chapter 1

The rave was still buzzing, the music was pounding through the streets, the alcohol still flowed and the copious amount of drugs were being consumed. The sun was starting to pokes it head above the houses and the nine friends were still drinking. Instead of being the last ones standing at the rave they had made their way to the park that over looked the city. Bottle's of vodka lay discarded on the floor surrounding them, as their laughter filled the night.

Emily looked at all of them wondering how they had ended up like this, they were an unlikely group but something about them worked. JJ was showing everyone a magic trick that he'd just mastered, which again involved fire and Cook was patting down his eyebrows worried JJ had singed them to which the group were laughing at. Effy was laying comfortable against Freddy who was beaming with pride as Effy held the cigarette to his lips. Pandora sat between Thomas' legs as they smiled widely at each other, and the image made Emily grin. Katie was finishing off one of the bottles slyly gazing at Freddy who seemed to be avoiding her gaze. And then there was Naomi who's hand was enterwined with mine as we all savoured this time together, tomorrow would bring on a new adventure. The blonde winked at me and I couldn't help but blush under her pale blue eyes, even after all this time she still had that effect on my body.

"I know I've asked so many fucking times but seriously girls, let me join in!" Cook suddenly proclaimed looking expectantly at the couple opposite him. Naomi looked at him then to Emily. "You wanna join in eh?" She asked him running a hand up my arm then to my neck and cheek sending shivers through my body.

"Fuck yeah." Came his response and the red head thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head as Naomi's other hand began to run up her girlfriends thigh stopping just under her skirt. "Fucking hell."

"Oh god stop, Christ." Katie piped up. "I will never be drunk enough to witness that. And just a heads up, just because I'm sleeping doesn't mean I'm deaf." Her brown eyes fell on Naomi as Emily bowed her head to hide her glowing red checks.

"What can I say, you're sister just hits all those hard to reach spots." Naomi laughed as the group joined in, except Katie who looked pain.

"Talking of getting hard." Cook told them grabbing his crouch.

"Don't fucking encourage them." Katie told him.

"You fancy scratching my itch then?" He raised his eyebrows to her and smirked.

"Not in this life time."

"They all come to the cookie monster in the end." He said as his eyes slowly looked at Naomi and then Pandora who looked away. Some secrets were meant to stay hidden, the two blondes knew that better than anyone.

"So what time you going tomorrow Em?" Freddy asked and she thanked him with a smile for changing the subject away from her sex life.

"Think I'm going to be leaving about ten, wanna get their early and miss all the rush." The hand around hers suddenly went loose and Emily squeezed lightly, not letting Naomi break contact. They hadn't discussed the topic of university much, both preferring to ignore the subject all together, but it had somehow snuck up on them. And now they were facing the prospect of living apart, which made ther hearts ache.

"Well take care of my girl." Freddy told her with a smile as he kissed Effy's head. Emily hadn't planned on going to Newcastle with Effy it was just how it had worked out and they'd decided to live together. Although it would have been nice to make a clean slate from Bristol, Emily was glad that she'd have one friendly face…well one face she knew. Effy had never been someone who was easy to get on with, she was impossible to read but maybe this was her chance to get to know her.

"Do you t-think we'll see each other again?" JJ asked playing with the grass by his knee.

"Course mate." Freddy offered him, and his tone suggested that he believed his statement.

"Shit, you can't get rid of Cook that easy!" The cocky teen informed them.

"Goldsmith is only down the road from Greenwich, you can come and visit us all the time." Pandora told JJ who was going to the same uni as Thomas.

"Yes, we will stay friends." Thomas repeated the confidence of our formed friendship. But the atmosphere suddenly felt changed and the drunken laughter had stopped. Everyone looked around at each other, wondering if this would be it. If the two years they'd spent forming this group was suddenly about to break apart.

"We've got the holidays." Katie told the group trying to offer some type of hope.

"Fuck it. I say three years back here." Cook stood up holding a bottle of Jack Daniels. JJ joined in the gesture, while the rest of the them looked on a little confused.

"I think what Cook is trying to say is that in three years if we do lose contact we come back here on this night at this time, for a reunion of such."

"That's what I fucking said."

The others looked at each other with a smile standing up also swigging from their bottle's toasting their plan. In three years they would all be back here, just like this, together again.

Emily looked over to Naomi as she sipped some of the alcohol, the blonde looked back getting lost chocolate eyes. "I love you Em."

"I know I love you too." They leaned in and shared a chaste kiss. "We'll work through this."

"Well you do think I can do anything." Naomi smirked and was given another kiss.

"To three years from now." Freddy said raising his bottle and a cheer erupted from the nine teens who had a whole new world in front of them, unfortunately there were nine paths for them, take all leading in opposite directions. As much as they hoped it wouldn't everything was about to change and they were all helpless to stop it.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

Emily was sitting on the bench at the park watching the sun coming up over the buildings and memories of that night three years previously came springing back to life. It was almost half four in the morning and she was still the only one here. Of course they'd all forgotten, that evening had been the last time all nine had been together and teenage promises had been lost to the wind. Wrapping her arm's around herself, Emily decided she'd had enough of waiting and began to get up.

"Emily!" Came a high pitched girly squeal from behind her and was almost knocked over as Pandora threw her arms around her. The redhead hugged her back and couldn't help the huge grin that came across her lips. Over the blonde's shoulder she noticed Thomas who was waving and hugged both girls. "We got a little distracted." Pandora explained giving a devilish grin to Thomas. Emily rolled her eyes.

"Where is everyone?" Thomas asked who had grown into a handsome man and under his clothes it was obvious to see a muscled body.

"I guess they ain't coming. It was a long ti-"

"Fucking faster JJ." The words cut Emily off as she saw JJ running over the hill with Cook on his back. "Shit look who it is!" He shouted to them as they quickly approached. Cooke jumped from his friend's back as the shy boy rested his hands on his knees to get his breath back.

"JJ!" Emily said as she hugged him tightly overcome with an emotion she couldn't describe at seeing all these old faces.

"What no love for the Cookie?" Releasing him, Emily hugged Cook as well. "Fuck me, please say you're not gay now because, FUCK, you got hot."

"I'll just take that as a compliment." She giggled.

"Where is everyone else?" JJ asked looked around realised four people were still missing.

"I don't know. Katie said she'd be here, but she went clubbing first so I'm not…"

"Where's the fucking PARRRTTTY!" Came a voice behind them and Katie stood there two bottles of Vodka held high. Something's never change and Emily's sister was one of those things. She had definitely grown up a lot but the party girl was still very much there.

"Get that ass over here, so I see if it's still as firm as it was!" Cook called back to her.

"Dick head, my ass always was and always will be perfect." She said as Cook pulled her into a hug spinning her around. Before moving his hand down to feel her bum. "Satisfied?"

"Damn right." He pulled out a bottle out of his pants. "Great fucking minds. Fuck the others, lets go mental." The laughter sounded the same but it wasn't complete. Although there was an energy and an excitement about being together again as we began to consume the alcohol and crack jokes as though no time had passed. Emily was leaning her head on JJ's shoulder when she saw the silhouette of two people walking towards them. As she lifted her head the rest of the group turned to face the approaching duo.

"Cunting hell, if it isn't wonder boy himself and…" Cook shouted as he tried to make out the other person. "And blondie." Emily quickly stood up her eye's fixed to Naomi who was easier to make out now as she got closer. Emily let out a breath that she didn't even know she was holding. While the rest of the group started shouting various hello's and insults, the blonde stayed quiet her face unreadable. Her feet took her straight to Emily who was trying to process words to say. The shorter girl opened her mouth to speak but before she could Naomi's hand collided with her cheek. The graduates suddenly went silent as the sound of the slap echoed through the morning.

"Bad timing?" Effy asked as she approached from the opposite direction.


	2. Chapter 2

On the appearance of Effy the group turned and looked at her and suddenly everything happened in a flash of a second as Naomi began to race towards the girl her fist raised high. However it was Cook's arms around her waist that stopped from reaching her target. She struggled in his grip trying to reach the brunette, while the rest of the group looked on puzzled staring between the three girls.

"Fuck, let me go Cook." She shouted trying to push him away, Effy just stood there out of reach looking at Naomi, a blank expression on her face.

"Don't think so Blondie, what the fuck is going on?" He liked girl on girl action but not this kind of action.

"Why don't you fucking ask that little slut!" Naomi spat out towards Effy, her words coated in venom.

"Or maybe you want to ask Emily?" Freddy chipped in looking at the redhead with a disgusted expression. "Come on Ems." He goaded her. Emily was gazing at the ground holding her cheek, that felt warm under her touch. She lifted her eyes to Naomi who had stopped struggling now, the blue eyes she use to love looking into were different now, filled with rage and anger, they weren't the oceans of affection they once were. The tears stung her eyes before she was even aware of them.

"Don't you dare fucking cry Em, don't you dare!" Naomi shouted. "You deserved that. You don't have the right to cry."

"Leave her alone." Effy suddenly said looking the blonde hard in the eyes.

"What's this Effy, protecting your little girlfriend!?" Freddy shouted this time walking over to Naomi.

"Girlfriend?" Pandora whispered to Thomas who looked just as confused as her, as he placed his arm around her shoulder.

"Woah, back up!" Cook exclaimed letting out a laugh. "You're making your way through the group eh Effs". She just glared at him.

"It wasn't like that." Emily finally spoke however she didn't catch anyone's eye. Her hand unexpectedly felt warm as someones hand linked with her own. It was Katie.

"Let's go." She said softly to her twin. Yes they argued and yes they didn't always get on, but blood will always be thicker than water. And since she was 10 minutes older she was going to look after her little sister. Emily nodded slowly as Katie began to lead her away before she stopped in front her sisters ex. "You touch her again, I'll fucking kill you." Her face was inches from the blonde staring deep into her eyes, wanting her threat to sink in.

The twins walked away into the distance leaving the ruins of relationships and friendships behind them. Emily didn't say anything and Katie didn't ask anything, they just walked as the morning bathed them in sunlight.

It wasn't any particular thing that started Emily off, it was just the recollection of Naomi's rage but out of the blue tears started to fall down her checks dragging her mascara with them. Unable to carry on walking she sat down on the kerb her body shaking with her out pour. Katie stood over her for a few moments in shock at her crumbling sister, unsure of what action should be taken. She sat beside her sister wrapping her left arm around her shoulders allowing her to cry on her shoulder, she didn't even care about the black stains that were being left. "Thank you." Em's sobbed. She knew it wasn't the time to ask Emily questions yet and they simply sat there as the cars passed lost in a moment of comfort and pain.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

Effy watched the twins go and realised that it was now time to depart from the scene that had played out before her. She had thought it would be a mistake coming but at the same time a little drama was always fun, and she'd been right but seeing Emily hurt made it less fun. She turned around to retreat in the direction she'd come from.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?" Naomi called after her, Effy spun around and looked at her before continuing down the hill. "Watch your back Effy!" The threat was empty just like Effy felt, she felt lost and it was usually a feeling she thrived on but recently it didn't feel good anymore and it simply hurt. University was meant to be this place to discover who she was and what she wanted and instead of getting answers she had received more questions. A single tear rolled down her cheek before she quickly wiped it away. Effy was not meant to show emotions, fact. The heavy foot falls behind her caused her to turn around expecting to see Naomi charging after her and in a way she hoped it was.

"Panda?" She was shocked to see the blonde chasing after her.

"Eff, wait up. Would have thought all that monkey would have made me fitter." Effy couldn't suppress a small half smile. If she could count on someone to stay the same it was Pandora.

"You come to give your two pence as well?"

"How can I? I have no blinkin idea what's going on." The old friends were now standing opposite each other, they took a few seconds to take in the image of the girl in front of them, seeing how three years had changed them. They had seen each other their first Christmas back from university but that had been the last time. "So did you and Emily…well you know?" She wiggled her eyebrows towards the brunette.

"Panda I don't want to talk." Effy stated simply, not wanting to be harsh but at the same time knowing that she had to be. "I have to go." She began to walk away again but stopped and looked back. "It's really good to see you Pandora." And she genuinely meant it, the blonde smiled and then a sad looked crossed her face.

"You're not going to disappear are you?" Effy gazed at her softly before shaking her head.

"I'm sticking around, I'll call you tomorrow." The huge grin appeared on Pandora's face again and Effy felt like it was safe to continue back on her walk. She would have liked to talk to her old friend more but right now all she wanted to do was be alone.

Effy didn't know where her feet were taking her, even in her doc martin boots her feet soon began to ache and all they waited was to stop, but she continued on. Her mind was a mess, her body was a mess, she was falling apart more than ever before. She knew that people thought she was unstable and they were right, but how do you find your balance when there is nothing below you. For a moment she considered stopping at Tony's for the night but instead kept walking until she reached a destination that even shocked herself. Of all the places she could go she had somehow chosen this street and this house. The brunette looked up at the house looking for signs of movement, before she realised that it was best to walk away.

"What are you doing here?" Came the voice behind her and it caused her to stop mid step and turn to look into brown eyes. This was a mistake.


	3. Chapter 3

"I'm not sure." Effy looked at her feet, not waiting to meet the questioning eyes in front of her. "I shouldn't have come." She explained as she made her way to leave again.

"You came here for a reason." Her feet stopped moving but she didn't turn to look back instead just gazed forward down the road. She was never one who was particularly good at words and right now she felt all thought and reason leave her head. The silence between them was threatening to take over yet neither of them were speaking.

Gradually Effy began to turn around and on seeing the dark eyes she wished that she had not, they were the type of orbs that you could get lost in and never resurface. Why did they effect her so much? She was meant to be immune to these types of fucking feelings, her body was defying her. "Emily I…" She trailed off, knowing that there was really nothing that could be said, they had ruined everything.

"You...?" The redhead tried to prompt her. They hadn't spoken for a year thinking it was best to stay away from each other. And now as the lost girl stood before her she realised how much she had actually missed her mysterious friend. Some friendships don't make sense but for some crazy messed up reason they work...or at least they did work.

"I'm sorry." Effy didn't make eye contact this time, she wasn't use to saying sorry because usually she didn't mean it, but her small voice showed that she did this time. "I'm sorry about it all." Emily sighed deeply, her body feeling completely spent after the nights activity. She had only been home for 15 minutes when she had seen Effy looking up at the house. Against what she knew was right she'd walked out the front door to speak to her ex-roommate.

While at university they had formed a surprising friendship, they never had any deep or meaningful conversations but their relationship was said without speaking. They had created a bond that neither had expected and maybe that was where it all went wrong.

"It wasn't just you though was it." Emily shrugged as she sat down on the kerb patting the spot beside her and eventually Effy came and sat next to her. They didn't dare look at the other girl instead they continued gazing forward or at their feet. "I shouldn't have expected any different." What had she expected? That Naomi and Freddy would come over and say all is forgiven?!?! How fucking naïve was that?! They just sat there for a while in silence again, they didn't need to say anything that had been the beautiful of their friendship. There had been nights at university where they had sat on their balcony smoking not saying a word but feel a safety in the others company.

"You know that oven was never the same." Effy smiled and caught Emily looking at her before breaking out laughing.

"That was so not my fault." She retorted recalling the memory from their first month at uni.

"What it just fell off it's hinges?" She asked as her smile grew due to the giggle filling her ears.

"I pulled it open and then it's on the fucking floor...Shut up." She said giving Effy a slight push which caused the brunette to become tense at the surprised contact, seeing the response she'd caused Emily looked to her feet. "Sorry. Everything is so fucked up." Effy didn't have anything to say, there was no point denying it, they had screwed everything up.

"It will all work out." Emily finally made the first lingering eye contact as she lifted her brow in a questioning look to Effy at her words.

"You really think so?"

"We were constant pricks to each other for two years and nothing stuck, we always came back as a group. Truth is we function better together. As twisted as that sounds."

"I hope you're right." In a moment of weakness Effy reached out and interlocked her fingers with Emily's. They knew that they shouldn't have taken comfort in the contact but they did and again they fell into quiet just listening to the cars.

"You know, I don't regret it." The brunette finally spoke up, Emily went to open her mouth to speak but Effy quickly continued talking. "I know you do, I don't expect any different. I just enjoyed fucking you." Emily couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped her lips at Effy's blunt words. "I think that's what I came to say."

"Well thanks…I think." Emily looked down to the tangled fingers beside her and knew she should retreat back inside. But it had been so long since she had experienced this type of contact that she didn't feel the harm to indulge in it a little longer. Her eyes followed the red car that was slowly driving down the street and it was only then that she noticed the blonde pushing her bike towards them. "Shit." On hearing the girl beside her swear Effy followed her line of vision to see Naomi approach. Instinctively both girls stood up immediately breaking their contact.

"You should go." Emily quickly said to Effy, not wanting there to be another outburst but she was met by a frown from the other girl. "seriously."

"Are you sure, if you want me to stay…" She didn't want Emily to get hurt again, feeling like it was her alone who deserved all the blame and punishment.

"No, I think I should speak to her alone." There was an urgency to her voice that struck Effy's center harder than she'd expected. Second best eh.

"Call me later." Emily looked at her sceptically. "please." The single word tumbled down Emily's last wall and she quickly nodded. Effy gave her a small lop sided smile before walking in the opposite. Part of her wanted to look behind her and see if Emily was watching her leave but she just walked, knowing she didn't want to witness the scene. Her stomach started to flip in a strange way and she suddenly left a little sick, a taste of bile began to creep into her mouth. What was this feeling?! Was this jealousy?!

**Sorry this is just a bit of a filler and it's not very long the next part will be longer!!**

**Thanks for reading and the comments!!**


	4. Chapter 4

Emily was running her hands down her skirt rubbing off the dirt and quickly dragging her hands through her hair. She knew she looked a mess, she needed food, sleep and a good bath. This is not how she wanted to look for when she saw Naomi again, but she didn't have a choice. It's the old unspoken rule that you are meant to stunning when you run into your ex again...oh well she thought to herself. The nerves started to course through body and her knees suddenly felt weak and it took all her strength to stay standing. The blonde looked worn and exhausted but still she was the most beautiful person Emily's eyes had ever fallen upon.

The redhead couldn't help but think if she hadn't had a moment of weakness with Effy, Naomi would have been approaching her for a kiss or pull her into her arms. Instead the uncertainty of this confrontation was making her uneasy and the thought of Naomi's soft lips upon her own were throwing her emotions all over the place.

"She come round for a repeat?" Naomi asked when she was only a few feet away and Emily shook her head trying to lose the image of their first time together by the lake but it seemed burned into her brain. Emily simply looked at her too drained to put a fight. She didn't want to argue with Naomi, but at the same time she couldn't bring herself to walk away. Naomi was like the sun in her universe always pulling her closer.

"If you've come to argue, then don't bother because I don't have the energy." What had she been anticipating? That Naomi was going to come along and say that she wanted her back? That she couldn't live without her? Shaking her head Emily began to walk towards her house fighting against the forces stopping her from retreating.

"Emily." Naomi's voice was like an invisible barrier that stopped her in her tracks. "Can we talk?" Completely thrown by the change in the girl, Emily spun to face her. The redhead tried to read Naomi's face to see if it was a trick but she was unreadable.

"Okay, but we should probably go for a walk. Katie is in the house." She really didn't want her sister to see Naomi here, her twin had a temper and her fist hurt, she'd learnt this from first hand experience. However she knew Naomi wouldn't back down either.

"I'm not scared of her." She quickly replied looking up at the house expecting to see Katie watching from a window but they all stood empty.

"I'm not worried about you." Emily chuckled hoping that it might elicit a grin from Naomi but her face still remained neutral. Without speaking any words to each other the exes began to walk in silence down the road, neither knowing what there was to be said.

"So what did Effy want?" Naomi asked slying casting a sideways glance at Emily to see if her expression was going to give it anything way.

"Nothing." She really didn't want to go into it all with Naomi right now. She knew she had so much to explain to the blonde but now wasn't the time. So much had been left unspoken between the pair, they hadn't talked in two years, they might as well have been two strangers who's paths had accidentally crossed.

"I wanted to say sorry. I shouldn't have slapped you." The duo shared a moment when they looked at each other, brown and blue lost in a moment, but Naomi quickly averted her gaze.

"You were right I deserved it."

"No you didn't, I was just angry and then seeing Effy. I'm sorry." Emily didn't know what to say, one morning and two apologises. "You know I'd imagined what would happen if we ever saw each other again."

"How did it measure up to reality?" Emily asked while she kicked a stray stone along the pavement.

"Imagination hurts less." The blonde said honestly. "You know I wish I could hate." Emily's head fell low under the painful words uttered by her ex lover. It felt like a physical blow to her chest and her heart tightened. "I don't, but it would be easier if I could." Even though the end of Naomi's sentence gave her hope it didn't do anything to lessen the pain in her heart.

"I'm sorry too." Was all she could say and it was barely a whisper. "So are you staying here, in Bristol I mean?" Emily managed to ask, trying to scrap together all the courage she had to keep herself together. And trying desperately to steer the conversation away from the past.

"Yeah, I've been back for about a month. I got a job in the environmental agency." Naomi stated as though it was no big deal, but Emily knew better. She'd been back a month? Why did that hurt? She thought to herself.

"That's really good, I knew you'd be doing something important."

"Thanks…how about you, staying or going?"

"Staying, I'm doing my PGCE here." Emily said slightly self-consciously, no one had seemed to believe she would make a good teacher.

"Teacher eh? Our college experience didn't turn you off?" She laughed a little and it lighten Emily's heart only for a second until Naomi composed herself. "Emily there was something I wanted to talk to you about." Naomi said as though it was all one word and the urgency in her voice made Emily's core twist.

"Yeah?"

Naomi looked into the lost orbs in front of her and caved, they were soul shatteringly beautiful. Even now after all the anguish that had been shared between them Naomi couldn't dispute that Emily was painfully stunning. The shorter girl was beautiful in the way where it actually meant something, she didn't need the makeup caked on to make herself attractive. And because of her mind drifting it took a while longer for the blonde to compose herself and speak. "I just…you know…I guess we'll be seeing more of each other now."

"Yeah I guess." Although Emily couldn't help but think that the other girl had been home for a month and she hadn't seen her.

"I just figured, life's too short for all those bullshit grudges. We should at least be civil." Emily could only nodded in agreement, it might not have been the huge declaration she secret hoped for, it was a small step. Maybe with enough small steps they would be where they were meant to be; together. "I should probably get going."

"Sure." Emily stopped at the end of the street, her arms wrapped around herself. Seeing Naomi again had brought all those old emotions and feelings bubbling to the surface and she was trying anxiously to keep them at bay. "Thanks…for stopping by."

"I'll you around Emily." There was something about the way she said her name that caused Emily to lift her head and met the gaze from the blue eyes. They shared a brief smile and Naomi began to push her bike away.

"Naomi." Emily called after the girl who stopped and turned her head to face her ex. "I missed you." Maybe she would have to work harder on keeping her emotions in check, and she internally cursed her outburst. The blonde didn't answer all she did was stare at the redhead.

"Me too." And that was all that had to be said and Emily's hopes suddenly started to rise. She had thought after her moment with Effy at uni she had lost Naomi forever but here they were again. It was like fate had stepped in and brought them back to Bristol again for one more shot. Well no one said the path to true love ran smoothly. Emily smiled to herself as she began to walk back to her house, this was going to be very interesting.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X

Freddy, Cook and JJ sat in the pub drinking having not gone to bed yet after the nights adventures.

"Thank fuck for 24 hour drinking!" Cook said raising his glass and clunked his glass with his oldest friends. And the brash man began to down the beer in a matter of seconds. "And that boys is why you always buy two at the same time." he stating raising the second one to his lips.

"Some things never change." Freddy commented as he drank his at a more leisurely pace. "So what are you two doing with yourselves?"

"No fucking way, you ain't getting out of it that easy mate." And was greeted by a confused expression from Freddy.

"W-why didn't you tell us Freddy, about you and E-Effy?" JJ clarified and the brown haired boy closed his eyes in realisation, letting out a deep breath.

"Embarrassment?" He hadn't told anyone the reason for the break up, only Naomi knew the truth.

"I'd be fucking embarrassed too if a girl wanted muff instead of my cock." Cook offered to the conversations.

"Thanks for that mate." Cook only shrugged his shoulders. "I just want to forget about it, it's been two years. How do you tell your mates that the girl you were obsessed with fucked you over, with a girl no less." The anger in his voice was clear to hear.

"It just doesn't seem like s-s-something Emily would do." JJ said, recalling the girl who had turned into a great friend over their time at college. They had often spent random days together and he didn't like to think badly of her. While they'd been away at uni they had kept in contact through MSN and Facebook, and he was a little hurt she hadn't mentioned this to him either.

"Well it is. Fuck girls." Freddy lifted his glass for another toast but was met with a questioning glance from Cook.

"If you're talking about fucking girls then I'm all up for toasting but if you are talking about boycotting girls I have an important question to ask."

"What?"

"Are you fucking gay? If you are I ain't gonna judge, was just gonna set you up with Gay Jay here!" He laughed ruffling up JJ's hair who was trying to bat Cook's hand away. The vibrating phone on the table caught all the boys attention and Freddy quickly grabbed his mobile.

"Gotta go lads." He said after reading the text message.

"We just fucking got here! Wait…you only ever use to leave our bromance for one reason. You're getting it wet."

"No…" Freddy told them. "I just gotta go. I'll meet you guys later." And with that he was gone.

"It's always you and me Gay Jay." Cook muttered as he threw his arm around JJ.

"We could do worse."

"Fuck yeah we could." The girl at the bar stared over at cook and smiled at him shyly. "Hi love, you wanna try an Australian kiss?" The stranger just looked at him confused. "It's just like a French kiss but down under, if you get me!" And burst out laughing along with JJ.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

Freddy came jogging down the ally way where she was already waiting for him. "Sorry." He started talking before he even reached her. "I just got your text, did you tell her?" When his pounding feet finally stopped in front of the girl he leaned down and kissed her slowly on the lips, savour her natural sweet taste.

"I tried, I did. But I couldn't. I need to tell her before we go public with this." She motioned between them. She wasn't sure what was occurring between them yet but she was happier with it that way.

"Naomi we aren't doing anything wrong." And with that he placed his hands on her hips pulling the blonde girl closer to him their bodies pressed together. He tilted his head down slightly and captured her lips in a soft kiss before he ran his tongue over her lip begging for entrance into her mouth.

*****

**Oh dear...**


	5. Chp 5 hard core naomiemily fans beware

It had been almost two weeks since Emily had seen Naomi and the blonde was still occupying all her thoughts. She would be sitting in her lecture and her mind would travel to her happy place and when she'd return to reality half an hour had gone. They were perfect together…well maybe not perfect they had their moments but didn't every relationship, Naomi's temper made her passionate and the making up after…WOW. They argued like every couple, but there was also this stillness between them, Emily was simply content in Naomi's company. She hadn't realised how big the hole in her heart was until seeing Naomi again and now it was just getting slowly bigger.

"And I fucked it all up." She said aloud as she entered her front door throwing her bag down. She hated the fact that she was back living at home, all that independents she'd gained was now gone. Although it was nice not having to do her own washing. Without warning, like a flash of lightening the memory she tried to ignore came rushing back to her.

****Memory****

Emily threw the phone down on her bed and it bounced and hit the floor with a thud and the back came flying off. "FUCK!" But she didn't rush to fix it, instead she leaned against her wardrobe and slide down it to the floor. She placed her head upon her knees and tried to stop herself from crying. The knock at the door caused her to lift her head up and look towards the sound, she didn't want to speak to anyone. Thinking that it might hide her existence in the room she held her breath waiting for the person outside to leave.

"Em?" Through the door Emily knew the muffled voice belonged to Effy, she debated about not answering the girl but instead got herself up and opened the door. The redhead walked back and sat on the floor, Effy didn't need an invite, following the girl and sitting on the bed. They didn't speak for a long time they both just sat there staring in different directions.

"She's not coming." Emily mumbled through her silent tears. Any other person would have been hugging her which would only make her cry more, but not Effy. She had this way about her, she gave Emily her space allowing her to cry and was there for unspoken solace. "This is the fourth time, the fucking fourth time she has cancelled, it's bullshit!" She shouted it wasn't really to Effy, more to herself for getting her hopes up again. They hadn't seen each other since New Years and it was now April, she didn't expect it was going to be easy doing the long distance thing but this was horrible. "She said she had a presentation to prepare or some crap like that. She'll make it up to me, though this was meant to be her weekend to make it up to me after the last time."

"That's shit." The brunette muttered all the while staring at the ceiling.

"Yep." Emily began to lay down on the floor and stared up at the ceiling. She closed her eyes in frustration and it caused a flurry of tears to descend. When she opened her eyes as if out of nowhere there was a bottle of vodka hanging down. Confused she looked around to see Effy sitting on the edge of the bed holding it out.

"Drink it." It wasn't a request it was an order.

"You know my answers aren't at the bottom of that bottle."

"You don't know. Drink it and find out if there is a message for you at the bottom." Emily didn't need any more encouraging, she was tired of feeling this way, of being second best, of not being one of Naomi's top priorities. When someone loved you they were meant to want to be with you, it was starting to feel like they had drifted right back to the beginning of their relationship. It had always been Emily pursuing the blonde and here she was again two years later.

"Fuck it." The sad young girl took the bottle opening it quickly and downed far too much for one mouthful, painfully she gulped it down wincing as it burnt her throat. The pain however was a pleasant distraction from the throbbing in her chest. "Right plan." Emily said sitting up and it caused Effy to smile. "We go to the shop get another bottle, drink them and then head down to the SU bar! Plan…Great!" And with that Emily was up and out the front door of their flat, the brunette took it upon herself to grab some keys and her purse; they wouldn't get far without them.

5 hours later the two girls were sitting on the grass a few paces from the SU bar. The evening was warm so their exposed flesh was protected, people passed them by but they didn't take any notice of them, they were lost in their own world.

"You know what?" Emily said before taking a swig of rum without flinching.

"what?" Came the response as Effy blew smoke rings into the nights sky. They had been sitting for an hour, neither could be bothered to take the 10 paces to the bar.

"Fuck relationships, for they are shit. Pretty sure Hamlet said that, Josie taught me so much." Effy grinned as Emily slurred her words, this was probably the most they had spoken since they had moved in together. Although the silent time they spent mutually was nice this had been just as nice Effy noted to herself.

"Yes Fuck em!" She agreed but was shot with a look from Emily.

"No…no you can't, you have Freddy, and he is here l-like every…EVERY weekend, it's sooooo sweet."

"Suffocating."

"It's too much eh?" Emily said with a sympathetic smile.

"Yeah." The duo both laid back to stare at the stars above them. Everything had changed so much since last year, they hadn't all been together since that night. They would all make plans but one by one they would pull out. And now laying here Emily couldn't help but wish everything had stayed the same. This growing up shit was rubbish. Effy could feel the warmth from Emily's arm as it brushed against her own and it sent a small shiver down her spine. The excitement of the unknown.

"What's wrong with me?" She turned her head to look at Effy. "Why doesn't she want to see me?" A single tear started to roll down the side of her face.

"She does." Effy tried to tell her and reached over to wipe the stray tear.

"No if she wanted me she would be here now, but she's not. I'm here by myself, like I've always been." She tried not to cry but the mixture of alcohol and her bubbling emotions were tipping her over the edge.

"You are not alone Em."

"Do you see Naomi here?" She asked lifting her arms and legs as if searching for her girlfriend. "Nope."

"Me." Was all Effy said with a loose smile. Awkwardly Emily leaned over and kissed Effy on the cheek and then collapsed back to her previous position. She closed her eyes, drowning in hurt and confusion. Her and Naomi were meant to last they were meant to be together forever, or was that a young teenagers foolish wishing? Emily could hear Effy shifting beside her and then the pressure of someone rolling on top of her. In puzzlement she opened her eyes to see Effy looking down at her and Emily frowned slightly at their new contact. It all happen so quickly that Emily didn't have time to react when the brunette leaned down and placed a slow testing kiss on her lips. Effy's lips were warm and moist so when the girl pulled away Emily found herself leaning up to capture her lips again. What started out as a slow sensual kiss quickly moved forward as Emily accepted all of Effy's weight on top of her, and a more forceful pressure against her mouth. The redhead arms wrapped around Effy's waist and feeling brave she moved her down hitching her top up. The feeling of warm skin under her hand began to send her drunken senses into over drive and when Effy's tongue ventured into her mouth tasting her she felt her need for contact grow. It had felt like forever since someone had touched her like this, wanting her, all her moral's and thoughts flew out the window as pushed her tongue against Effy's.

"Lesbian porn!" The voice from behind them caused them to reluctantly break apart, breathing heavily while staring at each other. "Don't stop!"

"Let's go." Effy commanded getting up and pulling Emily up along with her. They walked in silence back to the flat neither attempting to catch the eye of the other. They were just round the corner from their door when Emily felt the hands on her shoulder's pushing her back against the wall, seconds later Effy's lips crashed against her again. Emily's hands went to Effy's cheeks pulling her in closer, her body craving this contact so desperately. Effy's hand moved from Emily's waist up her torso and roughly began to grope her breast, feeling Emily's nipple harden under her touch as the redhead moaned into the kiss. Feeling a sudden surge of confidence Emily pushed back against Effy and began to lead her towards their apartment never breaking connection. Their wandering hands exploring their bodies, the sound of zips being undone and then Emily felt Effy stop. Emily's lips felt the lack of warmth instantly and stared at Effy who was looking over her should; following her gaze Emily saw sitting at the door to their flat sat Naomi. Pale blue eyes seemed to be staring straight through her and Emily instantly felt sober, what had she done?! The blonde was standing up throwing her bag over her shoulder.

"Naomi, wait this isn't…"

"Don't you dare fucking say it wasn't what it looks like...What was it then?" Naomi shouted, as she stood right in front of Emily, ignoring Effy all together. The brunette was staring at the floor, wishing she was somewhere else, subconsciously she touched her lips.

"We were just…" Emily trailed off knowing there was nothing she could say.

"What? Got nothing to fucking say?!" She pushed past Emily and now standing in front of Effy. "What Freddy isn't enough for you? Got bored of your life and deciding to screw up someone else's?" Effy didn't say anything and Naomi didn't wait for a response as she began to walk off.

"Naomi wait, stop please!" Emily called after her girlfriend as she followed her.

"Why?" The taller girl spun on her heel and for the first time Emily spied the tears in her eyes and in that moment she felt her heart crack. She wasn't this type of person, this wasn't who she was.

"I made a mistake, nothing happened." Emily tried to explain tears starting to flow down her pale cheeks.

"You're hands were all fucking over her Emily, I saw it."

"But it didn't mean anything, you didn't come and we went out drinking and -"

"all I'm hearing are excuses Em!" She threw her hands up in frustration, then tried to wipe the tears away but more simply followed.

"I'm sorry." Her voice was small and broken.

"Don't." Naomi warned.

"I am sorry." Repeating the words she so desperately wanted Naomi to absorb and believe.

"You're only saying sorry because you want to feel better, and right now that isn't my problem." The blonde repositioned her bag on her shoulder and began to walk off again with Emily in hot pursuit before turning around again. "I wanted to surprise you! That's why I said I wasn't coming. I missed you Em, I missed you so fucking much. But Jesus Christ if I knew you were doing this I wouldn't have bothered."

"Nothing has ever happened before!" Emily pleaded.

"It doesn't matter…not any more." Naomi sobbed trying to compose what was left of her broken self.

"What, what do you mean?" A fear started to raise in Emily and her chest felt tight, she had a feeling what was coming but didn't think she could bare to hear it.

"We're over." Her voice was cracked but Emily heard the word's clearly and a fresh batch of tears started to tumble. She quickly walked up to Naomi trying to hold her face wanting the blonde to look into her eyes. "No Emily, no." She said trying to push the other girl away.

"You can't do this, you don't want this."

"No you're right I don't." Naomi said finally making eye contact with the shattered brown eyes.

"Then come upstairs and we can talk about it and maybe we-"

"I don't want to but I have to." Grabbing Emily's wrist from her face pushing the girl back, feeling that she might cave in on what she'd said. "Don't call me, don't follow me. Just let me leave." Swallowing hard Naomi started to make her way out of the campus leaving Emily only watching. The realisation of what had just happened hit her like a blow to the stomach as she crumbled to the floor in a fit of sobs.

**** *****

Emily was sitting on the bottom on the stairs, no her and Effy hadn't slept together that night but a few drunken months later they had…more than once. It was strange how when your body needs comfort it will take it in any form that's offered. With her head in her hands Emily sighed deeply, trying to exhale all the memories that were haunting her. Yes she made a mistake but she was a quick learner and never made the same mistake twice. It was time to make Naomi see that they were meant to be together with that thought in mind a smile crept across her face.

"Bitch hurry up!" Katie shouted who was standing at the top of the stairs and Emily knotted her brow. "We're going out tonight remember?"

"When did I agree to this?" Emily asked baffled.

"Last week when you were watching Eastenders." Katie smiled, she'd known that if she'd asked Emily when she was distracted it was easier to get a more positive response. "So hurry up. You need a shower and since I'm fucking fabulous, I'll even let you go in first."

"Katie, I'm not sure I'm up for going out to-"

"Shut up you're coming, you've been moping for weeks and it's getting depressing. So get in the fucking shower before I come down there and drag you in."

"Fine." Emily sighed as she climbed the stairs, why did she have a bad feeling about tonight?!


	6. Chapter 6

Emily was self-consciously pulling the hem of the dress down before looking at Katie with pissed off eyes. The cool night air was breezing up her dress as she turned unhappily to her twin. "This is not me!"

"You look hot, almost as hot as me…but not quite." Emily had proceeded to have a hissy fit trying to find something wear, unfortunately for her Katie had been on hand to offer help; hence the uncomfortable dress.

"I feel like I can't breathe in this."

"You not meant to breathe." She stated as she confidently walked through the night evening as the duo made their way to some new night club. Emily really wasn't much of a clubbing person, she would much rather have curled up on the couch with a good film. Instead she thought she looked like a hooker in shoes that were already slowly killing her feet. Everything including her make up had all been Katie's idea, she'd felt like Katie's little project for the evening, she didn't mind though. Against what people might believe she had actually missed her sister while she'd been at university. "You are so going to pull tonight!"

"I'm still gay Katie." Emily stated with an unimpressed glance.

"Did I say you were going to pull a guy? Lets just go and have a good time." She said as she linked her arm with Emily, more so to stop her twin from falling in her heels.

"So who else is meant to be coming tonight?" She enquired, as much as she liked Katie she didn't want to spend the night watching her getting chatted up while she sat alone in the corner.

"Cook, JJ, Thomas and Pandora I think, not sure." There was a strange glint in Katie's eyes and she couldn't place what it meant, so Emily chose to ignore it. She had learnt a long time ago not to try and figure Katie out. "Oh yeah, I have a surprise for you." Stopping she began to rummage through her purse and eventually pulled out two white pills.

"What's that?" Emily eyed it.

"The key to a fucking great night." And with then she swallowed one offering the other to her sister. "Fuck sake, if it was lethal I wouldn't have done it." Emily knew that Katie was trying to help her in her own twisted away so with a s small smile she placed it in her mouth coaxing it down her throat. Katie wrapped her arm around her sister pulling her in tightly. "I'm glad you're home…even if you are a lezza." She laughed and Emily slightly slapped her.

"Bitch."

"That's Miss Bitch to you." The duo chuckled together as they approached the club skipping the queue. "To a great fucking night!" And then they were engulfed by the flashing lights and music pounding so loud it vibrated their chests. They went straight to the bar and Katie leaned over exposing her plunging cleavage and within seconds the barman was in front of them.

"What can I get you gorgeous ladies?" Emily rolled her eyes.

"Two cocktails." Katie shouted to be heard over the music.

"What ones?"

"Surprise us." He flashed them a cheesy smile and looked down to his crotch. And both girls just laughed and shook their heads. After a slight wait he returned to the bar and placed two drinks in front of them. "What are they?"

"It's a slow hard screw and that's sex on my face." He told them.

"Oh I want sex on my face!" Emily shouted grabbing it and started downing it.

"Guess I'll have the slow screw." Katie said laughing at Emily.

"Great I get off work at 3!"

"Not with you loser. Here you go." She said throwing a tenner down on the table. "Keep the change." They began to walk through the crowd finally finding an empty booth and slid in and sat down. "How's you're drink?"

"Good, I like sex on my face." And burst out laughing but was met with a pained expression from Katie.

"You are disgusting Emily." However soon she was laughing along with her twin.

Two hours later and the two were high as kites, no one else had turned up yet…to be honest they could all be there but they were in their own little world. They were both on the dance floor dancing like maniacs but at least Emily didn't care about her skirt any more. This was the best Emily could remember feeling since seeing Naomi, all her emotions were gone and she was just living in this moment, lost in the music. Guy's would occasionally attempt to dance with her but she'd simply push them away. Turning she saw Katie latched on to some random guys face, watching for a moment until she felt a little sick, Emily began to walk back to their seats. As she walked up the stairs at the top she noticed Cook and JJ and instantly went bounding up throwing her arms around the shy boy.

"JJ!" He was almost knocked back by the force of her but managed to stand his ground. "I'm so glad you came, I've missed you!" He smiled wildly at her declaration and squeezed her a little tighter, he'd missed Emily too. "Hey Cook." she said hugging him less tightly.

"I'm gonna get a fucking complex." He said, it was the second time that she'd been more happy to see JJ.

"Oh I love the Cookie monster." She shouted at him.

Seductively he took a step closer. "Really how much do you love the Cookie Monster?"

She returned the gesture and took another step closer. "You want me to show you how much I missed him?" She said with a lopsided smile as she ran her arms around his neck.

His smile vanished and Cook looked at JJ. "She is fucking wasted, no more!" And with that he went off to find a girl who could keep up with him for the night.

"Wait did I just get rejected by Cook?" She asked with one eye shut a look of puzzlement on her face.

"Y-Yes."

"Shit, that is depressing." She laughed as she sat down on the top step and JJ sat beside her. "I'm glad you came." She said leaning her head on his shoulder.

"Me too. W-why didn't you t-t-tell me?" She looked up at him, waiting for him to explain what he meant. "A-about Effy?"

"JJ I really don't want to talk about all that bollocks." She said dumping her head back on his shoulder.

"We're meant to be friends." He was trying to hide the fact that he was hurt by this, but his voice was painting another picture.

"We are friends."

"Friends talk to each other. You told me first that you were gay and…"

"And then you outed me to Katie." Emily stated.

"Is that why you didn't tell me?" His voice was quieter now and Emily only just managed to hear this quiet words.

"No JJ that wasn't why. I didn't tell you because I was ashamed. I thought I was above all that sort of bullshit, turns out I'm no better than everyone else." she smiled and he wrapped his arm around her.

"I wouldn't have judged you. I mean I couldn't." He said with a slight smile remembering when he'd lost his virginity to Effy. What was it about that girl that seemed to draw everyone to her?

"Well I promise next time I fuck up you'll be the first one-is Cook getting on Katie?!" She changed midflow of her sentence distracted by the display on the dance floor.

"It does l-look that way, it's disgusting." He said looking at the scene playing out in front of them.

"I can see his tongue in her mouth."

"I can see his hand up her skirt."

"Oh god."

"We should look away JJ."

"Yeah we really should." He agreed but they both still sat there, transfixed by the sordid sight in front of them.

"That's my sister." Emily stated.

"It's s-sorta like an e-eclipse. We should look a-away because it might blind us b-but I can't seem to." Both their heads were tilted to the sides completely lost.

~X~X~X~X~X~

"It's just a night to be us together, we can trust JJ and Cook." Freddy said his arms wrapped tightly around Naomi's waist, as they waited in the queue.

"Cook, are you serious?" She questioned him as he lowered his forehead to press against hers.

"He has grown up a lot…Okay he hasn't but we can trust him. I just want to go out with you Jesus, I'm getting tired of hiding." He said losing his temper a little before taking a deep breath to try and calm himself down.

"I know Freddy. But I just don't want Emily finding out from someone else, I want to tell her." Naomi explained gently running her hands through Freddy's hair sucking up slightly to make things go her way. She didn't want to get into another fight about Emily tonight.

"Why does it matter?" He questioned her, eyeing her suspiciously, she felt under pressure from his gaze.

"It doesn't but…If we want to hang out as group, we have to go about this carefully. Don't you want to tell Effy?" She threw back the same question.

"I don't give a fuck about Effy, all I care about is you and me." The words should have touched Naomi but instead she felt as if she couldn't breathe and to get out of the conversation she leaned up and kissed his lips tenderly.

"Let's just go and have a good night." He smiled at her unconvinced, but he was starting to understand not to push certain issues with the girl and instead they made their way inside the club.

They held hands as they walked within the loud night club, their eyes looking out for the two men. However what they saw first were Emily and JJ sitting on the top of the stairs and instantly Naomi let go of Freddy's warm hand. The man looked down at his hand and towards the redhead, a sadness attacking his heart. "Do you want to go?" He asked, hoping that she would want to flee quickly.

"No, I mean were here aren't we."

"Should we get a drink?" He asked trying to get her attention back on him.

"I'll have a vodka and lemonade." She replied never looking at him. "I'm just gonna go say hi." Naomi said as she left him standing there and all he could do was watch. A fear began to wash over him as he began to realise that the girl was never going to be only his. But he told himself he could cope as long as it was him that she came back to every night, if he waited then eventually she would want him back like he wanted her.


	7. Chapter 7

"Hey." Naomi waited expecting both them to turn to greet her and was disappointed when neither of them even noticed her appearance. "Oi!" She said loudly and both of them jumped spinning to face her.

"Oh t-thank god." JJ quickly said and Naomi frowned, her and Freddy weren't that late they couldn't have been waiting long. "I thought I was never gonna be able to look a-away." Emily nudged him with her shoulder and smirked before looking up into confused blue eyes.

"Katie!" She said pointing to the dance floor. Naomi glanced to where Emily was indicating and a look of disgust quickly fell upon her face. "What are you doing here?" She asked bluntly and it brought Naomi's attenton back.

"Could ask you the same thing." She had actually been slightly disappointed on hearing Emily wouldn't be here. She knew it was wrong to feel that way when she had Freddy; her heart and her head were constantly fighting.

"Did you come with Pandora and Thomas?" Emily wondered looking around for the couple and didn't notice the distressed look on Naomi's face.

"Erm no, I came alone although I did see Freddy in the queue outside." It should have been harder lying about her boyfriend but it easily rolled off her tongue.

"Oh Shitification!" Emily looked at him quickly checking that he wasn't getting locked on.

"Hey you alright?" She asked him turning his head to face her, her vision was so blurry she saw about 4 JJ's but she attempted to focus on the middle one.

"Yeah…but…" He started.

"But what Jay?" Naomi asked.

"Effy." He said and pointed to the free spirited girl on the dance floor, there were random guys taking a stab at dancing with her, but she paid them no attention. Emily couldn't help but watch the way her body moved and images of the girls naked body pressed against hers rushed through her.

"Fuck." Emily said getting a little flushed and the blonde girl shot her a look. "Look there's Pandora and Thomas!" Although she had tried to divert the attention she still felt Naomi's intense gaze on her. The hairs on Emily's neck began to stand on end and she was almost over taken by an urge to kiss Naomi. Jesus she thought to herself, decide which one you are hot for! The drugs in her system were making her sexual desire work on over time and she was having trouble keeping up.

"Jesus Christ." Naomi muttered and Emily looked at her, she'd known this was going to be an interesting night. "What's she doing here?"

"Cook." JJ said. "I think he j-just invited e-everyone."

"Great." Emily heard Naomi say, but her eyes were still running over Effy's body and feeling like she was trapped in the middle she gingerly stood up.

"I'm gonna go to the toilet." Emily didn't wait for a response from the other two and began to stumble through the crowd. She needed to get away from both girls, every part of her was conflicting with the next. When she saw Naomi that's who she knew she was meant to be with, and then when she saw Effy everything got confused.

Crashing through the bathroom door she went straight to the sink and took in her appearance with a grimace. Her hair was wet from sweat after dancing with Katie, her makeup was starting to fall down her face. "Oh I'll be fighting them back." She chuckled to herself, not caring that other people were around her. Noticing an empty cubicle Emily made her way over and was about to shut the door when a hand stopped her. Poking her head round the frame she saw Effy standing there with a smirk, confused Emily stumbled back and fell hard on the toilet. The brunette walked in and locked the door behind them.

"Hi." Effy said as she leaned against the door never taking her eyes of Emily, who was trying to get her mind caught up on the circumstances.

"Hey. Is there a reason we're locked in here together?" Emily asked as she rubbed her head, the cubicle was spinning. "Because I don't actually need help peeing, I've been doing it for 21 years, you might even say I'm an expert."

"I wanted to talk." She said turning round to give Emily a little privacy. "You said you'd call…" She trailed off and Emily hazily noticed a sad tone to the girl voice.

"I know I've had a lot going on." Standing here Emily realised you didn't even need to use the bathroom. "I'm sorry, I should have called." She continued grabbing Effy's arm and turning her around to face her.

"so you and Naomi…" Effy began her eye brow lifting, to prompt Emily to carry on but instead was greeted with a shrug.

"I hadn't seen her since that day. I don't know."

"You want her back?" Her eyes were burning into Emily and it felt like a hundred butterflies had been let out in her stomach. Effy was throwing all her emotions in different directions and Emily couldn't help but let her eyes drift down to her lips.

"Yes…no. So much has changed and happened. Fuck I don't even know who she is any more." Emily said, she hadn't seen Naomi in two years, they could be two completely different people. But then with that said her heart still seemed to skip a beat whenever she thought of the blonde.

"No matter how much people change they still stay the same."

Emily frowned. "That doesn't make sense." And Effy couldn't help but smile at the confused look on the redhead's face.

"At the core people never really change Emily."

"You changed." Emily threw at her and Effy was taken back.

"No, not really." She challenged and suddenly went stiff when Emily took a step closer to her.

"Yes you have." Her voice was husky but confident. She'd seen the alteration in Effy with her own eyes. She wasn't that young teenager who was drowning any more. Emily noted the way that Effy was staring at her with an intense gaze, she wasn't looking through her, she was looking inside her. "What?" She questioned.

"Nothing. I was just thinking."

"Don't hurt yourself." Emily smiled and Effy felt a blow to her heart. "What cha thinking about?"

Without missing a beat Effy answered, "kissing you." This only caused the grin from Emily's lips to fall. "I'm not going to but I'm thinking about it." Effy clarified and then unlocked the door and left Emily watching her confused. The brunette couldn't stand being that close to Emily anymore and escaped, it had been a mistake following the redhead to the toilet. Her mind had been all over the place recently, she hadn't been able to get Emily off her mind and she couldn't explain why. She thought talking to the girl might have helped clear her thoughts but it had all fucking back fired. So instead of trying to face the confusion she walked to the bar and ordered 5 shots downing them quickly.

Emily on the other hand was now approaching the smokers exit, needing to get some air. Her body was feeling hot especially after her talk with Effy…she wanted to kiss her?! What the fuck?!?! But it had made her heart flutter hearing the words.

It had begun to rain so Emily stood under the shelter watching the rain pour down on the ground. She was sure that it was meant to get easier the older you got?! This was not easy. There was Naomi who she loved, always had and then there was Effy, there was just something about the mysterious girl. "Fuck." She said under her breath.

"Bad night?" Came a voice from her right and when she looked to the source she saw Naomi leaning against the wall next to her.

"Yeah kinka. The weathers shit." She said.

"The companies even worse." Naomi finished and they both chuckled remember a time spent together lost in their past.

"My head is killing me!" Emily said loudly as she placed her head in her hands. "You having a good night?"

"Not really me is it." Naomi said and Emily knew what she meant instantly. This really wasn't Naomi's scene at all…so why had she come…had she come to see Emily? "You look like you're buzzing. What are you on?"

"No fucking clue, but it's making me feel great." She laughed but Naomi's face suddenly went serious.

"You don't even know what you've taken?!" She almost shouted back and Emily stared at her.

"No and you know what, I don't care. I just wanted to feel something feel…" She trailed off, her mind was having trouble keeping up with her mouth.

"Why?" Naomi shot back.

Emily gazed at her for a while before answer. "Because I fucking hurt. Every part of me aches Naomi. I thought I was fine and then I saw you and BAM, I'm not fine anymore. So excuse me if you don't agree with it." Emily told her with her right hand clamped tightly over her heart.

"Sorry." The blonde said ducking her head down, not wanting to look into Emily's eyes. And they were silent both sitting there lost in the own mixed up feelings. So much had happened between them and yet here they were again sitting in the rain, no matter what happened they always seemed to end up together.

"Naomi." Emily said in a quiet voice and the taller girl turned and looked at her and suddenly got caught under Emily's gaze. "Can you tell me you don't love?" Naomi heard the words but she couldn't believe she was actually hearing them and she looked more intensely at her ex girlfriend.

"What?" She needed to hear it again to make sure.

"Tell me. Can you tell me you don't love me?" Her heart began to hammer in her chest at Emily's words, and no she couldn't tell her that. She still loved Emily and she probably always would, but there are some wounds that never heal and seeing her and Effy was one of them. And now there was Freddy. This just confirmed to her that she needed to distance herself from the redhead because otherwise she was going to fall into old habits.

"Ems…I…" She started but couldn't work out how to end the sentence.

"You can't say it." Emily said as she slowly turned her whole body to face Naomi and then gradually began to lean towards the blonde, lifting her chin, reducing the distance between their lips. Both girls eyes shut instinctively with only a mere centimetre between them.


	8. Chapter 8

**This was meant to be two chapters but because i've been late in updating i've joined them...anyone excited for tonights ep?!?!**

It was the pounding in her head that caused Emily to stir, it felt like an explosion of pressure going off at regular intervals. She groaned as her eyes began to flicker open and when the light hit her orbs she quickly shut them again. It was morning? When did that happen she thought to herself, Katie must have brought her home. More slowly this time she opened her eyes but kept them squinted as she attempted to adjust to the light pouring into the room. The first thing she noted was the blue bed sheets…Blue…Wait she didn't have fucking blue bed sheets…where the fuck was she?! Still feeling disorientated, she shifted to the side and suddenly her stomach dropped there was someone next to her. Emily wasn't the type of girl who got wasted and slept with random people. What the hell had happened?! She tried desperately to recall the nights events, they'd gone to the club, JJ and Cook had turned up…oh and then Naomi had turned up…then what? Fuck Effy_I'm thinking of kissing you. _The images were fuzzy still but she recalled the confused look in those blue eyes and then the image of her and Naomi sitting outside came crashing back to her.

***flash back***

Naomi could feel Emily's hot breath on her lips and it began to draw her in, she suddenly smelt the alcohol and it felt like an electric shot as she pulled back quickly. What was she doing? Swiftly she was looking at confused brown eyes. "No…" Naomi managed to say, her body was completely confused, every part of her was conflicted, confused between, want, need, lust, love, morality and she felt like the rope as they tugged in different directions. "No I can't…" Every part of her wanted her lips to be pressed against Emily's tasting her unique flavour but if she did then she was no better than she was. Maybe she didn't love Freddy but she wouldn't do that to him, not after how much Effy had hurt him before.

"Yes you can." Emily encouraged, she was so close to getting what she wanted she was not about to back down now. She needed to have Naomi's mouth on hers, needed to have her hands touching her, she needed the blonde like she needed to breathe at this moment.

"No, it's too hard Emily." Naomi spoke ripping her eyes away from the redhead, fearing that those eyes might pull her back in again. However it was not easy when she felt cold hands on her face pulling her eye line up. Naomi felt herself lean into the contact slightly trying to savour the forbidden contact.

"It doesn't have to be." Her voice was barely a whisper.

"But it is. You broke my heart." The words were like a punch to her stomach and Emily pulled her hands back, as a set of tears stung her eyes. "You're right I do still love you, maybe I always will, but it doesn't change anything."

"Let me fix it." Emily begged, she didn't want this opportunity to slip through her fingers without fighting for it.

"The scars will always be there Em."

"Don't say this." Her voice crackled with emotion.

"I have to. We can't go back. Love isn't always enough." Naomi took a deep breath before scrapping all her courage together and looking into Emily's shattered eyes. "I can only offer you my friendship."

"That isn't good enough."

"It's all I have. You and me, we're over." Emily couldn't stay here any more, her heart was crumbling in her chest, and so she fled back into the night club leaving Naomi alone. The blonde rested her head back on the wall, some random people were looking at her but she didn't care. What the fuck was she doing?!

Emily drunkenly pushed through the crowd trying to find Katie, she'd reached her limit, she needed to retreat back to the safety of her home. The tears were streaming down her cheeks now and she made no attempt to push them aside. Instead of finding Katie she found herself crashing into JJ, who turned around to apologise but on seeing Emily his face fell.

"Emily what's w-wrong?"

She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out instead more tears began to flow as she buried her head in his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her. They stood there for a while holding each other and the image of a hurt Emily, started to break his heart a little. When he felt her shoulders stop shaking her breathing begin to regulate he unwound himself from the short girl and began to lead her to an empty booth. "Are you g-going to tell me w-what's wrong?" He asked as he brushed a stray strand of hair out of her eyes and she tried to smile at the gesture.

"I'm fucked up that's what's wrong JJ." She told him through the end of her sobs. "I had the best thing in the whole fucking world and I screwed it up."

"You are n-not fucked up E-Emily." He told her, his voice firm.

"I just thought if she still loved me then we could go back to before." She sniffed wiping her face.

"Naomi?" He asked.

"Yeah, I…I tried to kiss her." Remembering the rejection just brought about a new set of tears and JJ wrapped his arm around her squeezing her gently. "I thought she wanted me. What's wrong with me JJ? Why can't I be normal?"

"I think you once told me what's so good about being normal." She smiled at his words. "There is n-nothing w-wrong with you. You made a mistake."

"The biggest mistake of my life, and now I've lost."

"I'll help you find y-your way back." His words touched Emily and she leaned her head onto his shoulder.

"Thanks JJ." And he grinned down at her make-up smeared face. "I must look a mess." Emily chuckled.

"You look Beautiful." The young man said genuinely, and it caused a huge smile to break out on the redhead's face.

"Thank you for lying, I'm just going to clean myself up and then I say we go home."

"Okay, I'll just go and tell Cook." Emily pushed herself up from the seat and began to head towards the bathroom.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

Naomi was still standing outside with her eyes crashed shut in frustration. Almost every part of her wanted to kiss Emily, to feel those full lips pressed against hers. Just remembering the feeling was sending shivers through her body, god would that girl ever stop having an effect on her? She had Freddy now that's who she needed to focus on, he was a good guy and they had experienced the same heartache. How could she even consider doing that to someone who was as broken as her for fuck sake. Lost in her thoughts it was the hands upon her waist that brought her back to reality…Fuck Emily!

"Jesus what do you think…" She started to shout but when she saw Freddy's surprised eyes she was taken aback.

"Who did you think it was?" He asked with a grin as he pulled her to him more tightly. "You seeing someone else eh?" She grinned at his comment, trying to cover her surprise.

"Well you know."

"Oh really?" The boy asked as he leaned down and kissed her lips tenderly taking in her natural taste. He could kiss Naomi forever and never get enough of her he thought to himself. "So what you doing out here? Hiding?" He questioned he wanted to know how her interaction with Emily had gone. He hadn't really spoken to his girlfriend since they had arrived at the club.

"No." She replied firmly. "I'm just getting some air." Naomi lied and his easy smile told her that he believed her. "What are you doing out here?"

"I'm looking for this gorgeous blonde…You haven't seen her have you?" Freddy asked looking around the crowds playfully and he received a light-hearted slap on the arm. "Oh there she is." He said looking into bright blue eyes.

"So you spoken to Effy?" Freddy sighed and rolled his eyes. "One of us had to mention them."

"I ain't fucking spoken to her and I don't plan on. How's Emily?" Naomi could feel the accusation in his voice and she moved back out of his embrace.

"She's fine, we only spoke for a second." She shot back at him and he instantly regretted his words.

"I'm sorry, I'd feel better if I could walk in there with you, I'm proud to be with you Naomi." The blonde was hit with a wave of guilt, they had been moving forward nicely and then seeing Emily had halted them.

"I know I'm sorry, and I will tell her." She wanted to change the subject as she reached up caressed his face, forcing his eyes to look at her. Slowly she leaned up and pressed her lips against his wrapping her arms around his neck welcoming his tongue into her mouth. Lost in their embrace they didn't see the person watching them as she snuck back into the club unnoticed.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

Emily was feeling slightly better after sorting herself out in the bathroom and was ready to flee this crime scene and go to bed. She pushed through the crowd feeling herself coming down from her happy buzz that had been present early in the evening. She was almost back at the booth when she came face to face with Effy, who had a strange expression on her face. Emily couldn't do this right now, she couldn't get into this with Effy and was about to walk away when she felt a gentle hand on her wrist.

"Eff, I don't want to do this now."

"Just let me say something." Her voice was loud over the music but at the same time there was a softness that Emily rarely heard. With a sigh she turned to give the brunette her full attention. "When I want something I'm ruthless, I do whatever it fucking takes it get it. But I want to be different, I want to be better. But right now I can't." Emily looked at her completely confused, not understanding the speech she was hearing. "Here have this." Effy offered the girl a cigarette.

"I don't smoke." The redhead said with a creased forehead.

"Just take it and go to the smoking section. I'm sorry." Effy said as she quickly walked away unable to meet Emily's eyes.

She watched her drunken mistake walk through the crowd and then at the fag she now had in her hand. She began to walk back to JJ but without warning she changed her direction as her curiosity got the better of her. Emily could feel the cold night air before she was engulfed by the wet night outside. She wrapped her arms around herself, feeling stupid for even coming outside, what had Effy even wanted her to…Her mind suddenly went blank…Freddy and Naomi, her Naomi and Freddy…Emily felt instantly sick and bile instantly started to rise in her throat.

"Oh my god." Was all Emily could manage to chock out as she fled back into the club pushing through all the sweaty bodies in her way. "Fucking move…get out of my way." She needed to get out of his space she needed air, she felt like she couldn't breathe, her lungs were stinging almost as bad as her heart. There was nothing left in her chest any more, her once throbbing core had now been ground into dust. When she finally made it to the exit Emily took a deep breath filling her lungs with cold air. She didn't care about the rain and began to walk outside into the street letting the droplets wash away her disaster of a night. Her hair and clothes were starting to stick to her body but the cool material felt good against her form.

"Emily…Emily fuck…Wait." She spun around and saw Naomi standing there, the rain already starting to soak her through. The redhead didn't say anything she simply stood there with her arms folded over her chest waiting for the blonde to speak. "Emily what you saw…" Naomi tried to start but realised that there was no end to that sentence.

Emily just stared at her, the entire scene playing in her mind in slow motion, Naomi with her lips pressed firmly against Freddy's, her hand's around his neck. Her mind was trying to deal with what Naomi said and her eyes turned cold. "What I fucking saw?" She spat out turning her whole body to face Naomi.

"I…we…" She tried to start again, but again her words failed and her voice trailed off.

"I'll tell you want I saw, I saw your fucking tongue down Freddy's throat." Her tone was sharp and Naomi felt the venom from her ex. "Jesus…I must be the world's biggest fucking idiot!"

"It isn't like that." Naomi tried to explain. "Me and Freddy…"

"You and Freddy! What are you two…" Emily couldn't finish that sentence, she couldn't believe that Naomi was with someone else…especially Freddy. But the silence told her that they were, they were together. "How long has this been going on? What is this stupid Emily always the last to know."

"No, it's been about a month. I tried to tell you, I tried to tell you that day but I couldn't find the words."

"Could it be shame?" Emily shouted back not caring that their fight was starting to bring attention to them.

"You have no right, you were the one to break us Emily, it was you. Don't you fucking dare turn this around on me." Naomi finally found her voice, if it wasn't for Emily's 'mistake' the duo would probably still be together. But they weren't and Emily had no right to make her feel guilty for trying to be happy again. "I didn't do this to hurt you. Do you think I fucking planned this?"

"Did you do this to hurt me?" Emily's voice went quiet and she couldn't meet the blue orbs opposite her.

"No." Naomi said honestly, Emily's damaged voice, rang straight to the blonde's heart.

"Because you haven't hurt me." She started looking hard into the girls eyes. "You've pretty much destroyed me." Emily couldn't stay here any more, there was so much more that she needed to know, she needed to ask but her body felt like it was ready to give up on her. There was a chill running through her body and it was causing her heart to stop and all she could do now was turn and walk away.

"Emily…Don't go." This was not how she planned for this go, but now she knew that she'd naïve to think it would turn out any differently. They had once been unbreakable and now they were two torn people trying to pull themselves together, Naomi couldn't leave it like this.

"What is there to say?" Emily stopped but she didn't turn back to face the girl. "I guess we're even now."

"It was never about getting even." Feeling her options begin to slip away Naomi moved and stood in front of the redhead.

"Move." Emily said forcefully, trying to control her temper.

"No, we need to talk Ems." Emily use to love the way that Naomi said her name but right now it felt like a bullet to her heart.

"I want to explain." The blonde realised there was nothing that she could say at this moment that might ease Emily's pain or her own.

"There is nothing to explain, you're shagging Freddy!" Emily said as tears started to fall from Naomi's eyes that matched her own. The pair looked at each other through the rain that seemed to act as a barrier between them.

"Emily I…" Naomi wanted to say so much but she felt so conflicted that she couldn't even begin to form words.

"Naomi if you're not going to move then I will." She could not bare to be here a second longer and began to walk past her ex girlfriend, her feet quickly took her away from the scene. Her whole world seemed to be unravelling before her eyes and she was looking at the mess in front of her. Emily's entire body hurt and her eyes were starting to sting from the constantly flow of tears. The pain was the last thing that she remembered as the bile began to rise in her throat and her world went black.

****End Flashback****

And now she was in bed next to someone else…What the fuck had happened?!


	9. song for a sleepy girl

*****Author Note*** I've had some serious writers block so i'm not happy with this story, i wasn't going to continue it as it wasn't getting very many reviews but i thought i'd give it another go anyway. This chapter was really hard to write after seeing episode nine! Anyway thanks for reading and if you do like please review! THANKS!! x x x P.S i haven't had time to read through this so i'm sorry for any mistakes xx**

The butterflies in Emily's stomach were making her feel worse than the after effect of the previous night. Who the fuck was next to her?! She needed to roll over and look but then when she did; well then it was real. If she just stayed here with her eyes shut it might all turn out to be a dream…squeezing her eyes shut before opening them wide; not a dream. She peeked under the covers to check if she was still dressed…wait…I'm wearing fucking teddy bear pyjamas! Quickly Emily looked over to the wall feeling relieved when she saw JJ's collage on the wall…wait had she shagged JJ?! She tried to rack through her brain to conjure up a memory from the previous night that might explain where she was. Unfortunately after her fight with Naomi her mind was a blank. Just the thought of the blonde caused her heart to twinge and institutively she pushed all thoughts of Naomi aside. She had fucking moved on with Freddy so she would move on as well. As Thomas once said to her '_You must stop loving them' _at the time she didn't think that was possible and maybe she didn't now either but she didn't have a choice. First things first though…what the fuck was she going to do NOW?!

"Shit." She muttered quietly as she tried to figure out how she was going to get out of this situation. There was no way to get out of the bed without waking him. That's it she thought to herself I'm never drinking or doing any type of drug again! She knew that was a lie but it made her feel a little better for the moment. She knew that her only option was trying to sneak out, so taking a deep breath she slowly began to sit up. She would have to whip her leg over and try to slip over him…She wiggled her short legs knowing that it was going to be impossible.

The redhead began to fidget trying to reposition herself when she felt JJ begin to move next to her, instantly she froze hoping that he would go back to sleep. Unfortunately for her when she opened her eyes she saw a sleepy JJ looking at her, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

"Emily, what a-are you doing?"

"I was just going to get going you know, a lot of stuff to and-" She began to say quickly, waiting to escape the awkward morning after talk.

"We didn't sleep together." The boy told her and grimaced at the sign of relief on her face, slightly hurt but quickly shrugged it away.

"We didn't?" She asked him feeling a huge weight fall from her shoulders.

"No. I was sleeping on the floor but you woke up in the night and said you were cold. You wiggle a lot in your sleep." Emily's smile faulted for a second as she remembered fooling around with Naomi in a tent while JJ slept beside them. Why was it that everything somehow reminded her of her ex.

"What the hell happened last night? Why am I here?"

JJ propped himself up in the bed looking at a confused twin. Her hair was dishevelled and her makeup still clung on to her cheeks but there was still something beautiful about her, even in her broken frame of mind she was stunning. "What do you remember?" He asked her and watched as Emily recalled the evenings events.

"I remember being outside with…Naomi and then…nothing." She shrugged, frustrated at her own hazy memories.

"I'm sorry Emily, Freds told me last night…I didn't know." He said honestly.

"It's okay JJ, it was a fucking shock but I guess it's really over." He wanted to offer her some words of comfort but he knew that it was pointless.

"Do you remember Cook and Katie?"

"Oh Christ, I forgot about that, Jesus that was disgusting."

"Yeah, well this bartender tried it on and he and Cook g-got into a fight a-and then all these g-guys jumped Cook."

"Fuck, is he alright?" There was no real emotion to her voice, she couldn't really muster any emotion at this point.

"Yeah, Katie took him to the hospital h-he had some stitch. She told me I h-had to find y-you and take h-home."

"Thanks JJ, god knows how I would I have fucking got home if you hadn't looked after me you're a-"

"Well…" He interjected feeling that her thanks wasn't justly deserved, she snapped her head up looking at him interested. "W-Well I was looking for you b-but I couldn't find you." Emily's stomach began to drop again…where had she been. "I f-found you with Effy." Fuck, Emily thought to herself, she knew it was too good to be true. "You were t-throwing up p-pretty bad and she was looking at y-you. She actually helped me get y-you back here and stayed until you f-fell asleep. It was weird." He mused at the end, it had seemed so out of character for the brunette.

"She stayed here?" Emily quizzed him.

"Y-yeah, you couldn't settle seeing as the room was spinning." He smiled while trying to read her far away look. There was something between Emily and Effy he had noticed, he didn't know or understand what it was but there was something that was impossible to pin point. Last night he had witnessed it more closely as Emily lay under his covers while Effy was stretched out on top, just watching the redhead fall asleep. There had been something behind her blue eyes that he hadn't seen before and it had kept him awake most of the night. He would have loved for Effy to look at him like…not now but before. Yet he couldn't understand this aching in his chest.

Emily was staring off into space, as she strained to remember the words Effy had uttered to her on the previous night. She vaguely recalled their exchange in the toilet, the brunette had told her that she'd been thinking about kissing her. Emily didn't know what to think or do any more. She felt like she was living in a shell of her former life, getting through each day by living on her memories. It was time to grow up, she wasn't that little teenager any more and it was time to start living.

"Jay, can you call me a taxi please." He nodded without saying anything, grabbing his mobile that lay on the desk beside him. "Oh erm, could I borrow some clothes, I don't fancy going out in that dress again." She chuckled as she looked at the discarded garment. She had tried to be someone else the other night and it hadn't suited her, she knew it and now it was time to become the person she was meant to be instead of someone she wasn't.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~

Emily pulled the jogging bottoms up as she left them slipping down slightly. JJ had filled out as he got older whereas Emily has stayed pretty much the same size. The huge T-shirt could have looked like a jumper on her and the trainers were far too big for her but at least she was comfortable for what was about to come. She stood at the door in front of her, trying to gain the courage to ring the doorbell. When the taxi driver had asked where she was going she had instantly given him this address and she didn't know why. Emily knew she should have just gone home and slept of the hang over, but against her better sober judgement she was here. Quickly she rang the door bell before she could stop herself and bottle it. She wasn't that shy girl anymore! She kept repeating that over and over in her head, gaining what little courage it gave her.

"What took you fucking long you little prick…Emily!" Mrs Stonem said before realising it was the redhead standing at the door with a confused expression upon her face. "I thought you were my wanker of a husband, what are you doing here?" Emily had met Effy's mother on a few occasions and in more ways than either of them would realise the mother and daughter were so alike. They both shut down in similar ways shutting the world out. The stonem's had got back together while the group were in their second year and even though Effy didn't really talk about it Emily knew she was happy about it.

"I was just wondering if Effy was in." Emily said, feeling a little uncomfortable now, wondering why on earth she had actually come here.

"Yeah, in her bedroom like always. Wouldn't fucking hurt her to come down stairs every now and then would it?" The younger woman felt like this was were she was meant to give a reply, so she slowly shook her head. "Exactly, why don't you come in and have a cuppa." And in that sentence Emily knew that Mrs Stonem was just lonely…still she didn't want to take up her offer.

"Erm, I don't really have long." Emily lied.

"Another time." She looked disappointed as she pulled the door open letting Emily in. "You know where she is." In truth Emily didn't know which room was Effy's but the music up stairs would probably be her guide.

Emily still felt like she was auto pilot as she started walking up the stairs and the realisation suddenly hit her. What was she doing here?! Was she here to say thank you? Was she here to shout at her for directing her outside? Emily had never been one to act before thinking, she thought she was smarter than that and now here she was completely confused. She could just retreat back down the stairs and pretend that she had never made the journey over to the stomen household. But Emily knew deep down that she had come here for a reason even if she didn't know exactly what that reason was. She would only get her answers when she was face to face with Effy and all she had to do now was knock on her slightly open bedroom door. There was a fear sitting inside Emily and before she could let it start to eat away at her she knocked on the door, waiting for a reply. After a few seonds when she didn't hear anything she knocked again.

"Fuck sake, I said I didn't want any fucking tea!" she shouted as she quickly pulled the door open stopping when she saw the redhead standing there. Emily couldn't help but smile at the way both Stonem woman had opened doors to her. "Sorry…I didn't know you were here."

"Yeah your mum let me." She explained looking at her feet, wriggling her toes in the over sized trainers. Effy took in the girls appearance and gave a little smirk before travelling back into her room, slowly followed by Emily.

"What are you doing here?" Effy said as she stood by her dresser with her arms folded.

"I'm not sure." Was all Emily could come up with and she stood by the bed as a silence hit them and they simply stood there. They both avoided the others eye, but feeling brave Emily quickly swept over Effy's attire. The blue eyed girl was simply wearing a long t-shirt that barely covered her ass, and Emily swallowed hard. "You told me go outside last night." She finally spoke.

"I know."

"Even though you knew what has out there." The shy girl wanted the eye contact now but Effy was making that difficult as she continued to stare out the window.

"I know."

"Why?"

"You know me." She shrugged.

"I do know you. So why?" She continued to push as she witnessed Effy begin to fidget uncomfortably.

"Fuck." She muttered as she ran a hand through her long wavy hair.

"You looked after me last night, explain that?"

"I couldn't leave JJ to look after you." Emily could feel herself becoming frustrated at Effy's non-answers. "Jesus you know why Em." And for the first time lost blue eyes focused on her and Emily saw the broken girl. Effy looked like a confused and lost little girl and without any reason Emily walked over to her taking her face between her hands, staring straight into her orbs. But it was the brunette who leaned in made contact with the lips in front of her. The kiss was soft as their lips touched, brushing together gently both of them tasting like alcohol and tobacco. Effy pulled back. "Is this because of Naomi and Freddy?" She had to know, she had wanted to the redhead to kiss her like she meant for so long, and here she was. Emotions scared the brunette more than she would ever admit, she was always running away from feeling but she was so tired of feeling nothing.

Emily wanted to say no. "I don't know." She knew that the other girl deserved the truth but at this moment she didn't know what the truth was. "I don't know any thing any more." Emily said in a defeated tone and Effy crashed her lips back into Emily's. They didn't know where this might lead but they both knew they need the contact they needed the comfort. And with that the duo stood lost in the others lips savouring the taste of a path unknown.


	10. first day of my life

*****sorry again i ain't read thro this again, thank you for the feedback, it really made me update this. The next chapter is gonna focus on Emily and Naomi, i promise!*****

Effy pulled the car up outside the Fitch residence and the music that was playing ceased.

"Thanks for the lift." Emily said giving the brunette next to her a small smile. Effy didn't know what to say so she chose to keep her mouth shut. As much as she had wanted to sleep with Emily she had been quite content with her lips on her own. "I'll call you later?" Emily asked, the quietness of the girl next to her was causing her to feel uneasy.

"Yeah." She gave a quiet response, which didn't make Emily feel any better. The redhead was now more confused than ever, when they had been in Effy's room it had seemed like the girl wanted her and now she was feeling rejected. Feeling brave she reached over and squeezed the girls hand as it rested on the gear stick. "I'm really shit." She said looking forward out the front window.

"What?" Emily asked confused.

"At relationships, I fuck them up." Emily turned the girls head to face, if she was taking a step forward then so was Effy.

"So, my track record isn't exactly spotless. I'm not asking for a relationship. If you can't give me anything then so be it." Emily explained never removing her eyes from the blue orbs opposite her. "So stop being a twat." Effy couldn't stop the smile that formed on her face.

"Charmer." She chuckled slightly as she leaned in and brushed her lips against the redheads.

Coming round the corner towards the car was Naomi who at that moment saw the dup kissing and was stopped mid-pace. She had wanted to explain to Emily, she had wanted to say sorry and a million other things but it seemed she was too late. It felt as if a lightening bolt had struck her chest causing an unable pain. What hurt most was the softness to the kiss she was witnessing, last time it had been fast and passionate but this time it was different. Taking a deep breath she began to walk back the way she came, she couldn't bare to watch the kiss any more and retreated back to the safety of Freddy.

"I'll ring you later." Emily said and this time it wasn't a question and she grated the brunette one last smile as she exited the car and walked to her door. As she reached her home she turned around and grinned at the girl before she drove off round the corner. Emily leaned against the door as she watched the car disappear and couldn't help the lighter feeling of her heart. This wasn't to say that Naomi didn't occupy much of her mind and every time the blonde did her heart twanged with unwanted pain. But be with Effy made breathing seem a little easier, her mind went slightly clearer when their lips touched. Maybe it wouldn't turn into a perfect relationship and maybe they weren't meant to be together, but right now Emily didn't care. All that matter was that her lips were tingling and a little butterfly was fluttering in her stomach.

Lost in her thoughts she didn't hear the door click open and proceeded to fall backwards into the hallway looking up at Katie who was looking puzzled down at her. "What the fuck Em?!" She asked at her sister.

"You could have given me a fucking concussion." Emily shot back picking herself up.

"What are you doing…what are you wearing?"

"Nothing." Emily shrugged as she began to walk up the stairs quickly followed by Katie.

"Nothing?" Katie pushed as she pursued her sister.

"Yep." Came the reply as they reach their bedroom and Emily fell on her rubbing the back of her head, Katie sat on her own bed looking over at her twin. The younger twin thought it best not to tell her sister about what happened with Effy, hitting someone in the head with a rock doesn't make solid friendships.

"I called you're phone."

"It died." Emily said although she hadn't attempted to turn it on today, she didn't want people to contact her, especially Naomi.

"Well JJ said he thought you'd come home." Katie continued.

"I didn't, look I just needed to clear my head okay." Emily closed her eyes tight.

"I always said Naomi was a slag." Katie was trying to be supportive in her own little way but when she saw the look on Emily's face she knew it hadn't been the right approach. "She just isn't good enough for you Ems." Katie watched her sister for a while waiting to see if she was going to reply, when she didn't Katie sighed and stretched out on her own bed. "If it makes you feel better his dick is tiny, hence why I was always on top, tried to get it to go that bit deeper."

Emily groaned at the over share on information. "I thought you said he was huge."

"It does make me feel a little better." Emily smiled as she began to drift of into a sleepless slumber.

"You're welcome." Were the last words she heard as she drifted off into a less complicated world.

~X~X~X~X~X~

The door bell caused the girl to stir from a sleep but she didn't move hoping that her sister or someone would answer it. Straining to here the door of someone down stairs all she could hear was the sound of the shower going.

"Fuck sake." Emily cursed as she pulled herself up and headed downstairs just as the person on the other side rang again. Pulling the door quickly open she saw Cook standing there with one of his trade mark grins. His forehead had a massive gash down the right side and it still looked extremely sore.

"Hi babe."

"Hi scar face." it was meaner than her usual hello but the prick had just woken her up.

"Good one." He chuckled. "If you think this is bad you should have fucking seen the other guy."

"I heard you got your ass kicked." She stated rather matter of factually.

"Well yeah, but I'm pretty sure my face bruised his hands." Emily chuckled with him at this point.

"So…" Emily began suddenly hit with the realisation of how weird it was to have cook standing at her door.

"Yeah, I just wanted to see ya sister." He said shoving his hands in his pockets.

"I think she's in the shower, but you can go up and wait, it's the last door on the right." Emily said as she pulled the door wider and stepped aside.

"Thanks babe." He said as he breezed past her and strode up the stairs and Emily watched him go with a bemused expression on her face.

Cook entered the bedroom taking in the place that he had never entered before. He instantly knew which side belonged to the older twin and smiled at the leopard print clothes that lay thrown around her side. He chuckled as he threw a top aside so he could plop on the bed with a sigh.

The bedroom door was thrown opened with a towel covered twin singing away, when he eyes fell on the boy sitting on her bed, she almost dropped her towel.

"Jesus, fucking hell Cook what are you doing here?" She shouted as she grabbed the towel tightly around her.

The males head was cocked to the side as he tried to get a view of any exposed flesh. "You should wear a towel more often." He chuckled.

"Shut up you tosser, what are you doing in my room!?" She accused again, he voice getting louder.

"I came to say thanks didn't I?" This suddenly stopped her in her tracks and she looked around the room a little taken back. "For going to the hospital with me babe."

"Well not like I had anything better to do." She shrugged it off.

"Fucking charming!" He laughed loudly and Emily heard it as she stood outside the door listening to their conversation, she felt guilty but her curiosity was getting the better of her. "I got something better you could do." He said looked down at cock before giving Katie a suggestive look.

"I don't think so." She replied shaking her head with a slight smile.

Cook shrugged. "You wanna go to the pub?" He asked not making eye contact and she looked away a little confused and embarrassed herself.

"Erm…Yeah." She waited expecting him to get up. "You can fucking wait outside." He laughed at her and Emily took this as a sign to quickly leave her spot outside the door.


	11. already gone

*****Again i'm sorry for not proof reading this but it's after 12 and i'm really tired. Please rate this and let me know what you think, i'm not really happy with this update but it fills in some blanks. Thank you for all your feedback, it makes me wanna update more :) *****

The arm around her pulled tighter and it woke the blonde up from her peaceful slumber, waking her from a dream that involved a certain redhead. She felt the disappointment rush over her as she realised it was all just a dream. Naomi attempted to snuggle into the hard body of her boyfriend but it felt wrong this morning, they didn't fit and with her mind betraying her by allowing Emily inside.

'_Cause when I'm with him_

_I'm thinking of you_

_What you would do if_

_You were the one_

_Who was spending the night_.

Naomi was sure that she was doing fine, she felt like the scars in her chest were finally getting sown back together, now she felt the stitches falling apart, leaving a gaping hole in her heart. Seeing Emily brought back every kiss, every touch, every intimate moment that she'd tried to block out. Looking at Freddy as he slept sound beside her she was hit with guilt. She did care for him, he had been for her in so many ways, but the problem was he wasn't Emily, his hands were big and rough, his lips weren't as soft. She knew she had to stop comparing him to her ex but it was impossible.

_How do I get better_

_Once I've had the best_

She felt him shift beside her and she used this as an opportunity to slide away from him, pulling the covers up to her chin. Naomi turned her back to Freddy, allowing all her fears and doubts to creep into her mind. Emily's lips were soft and tender, always asking permission before she depended the kiss. The redhead's hands seemed to have been moulded to fit her neck, the seemed to interlock in so many way. And while she lay beside the man she was meant to be committed to, a silent tear rolled away from her eye.

_He kissed my lips_

_I taste your mouth_

_He pulled me in_

_I was disgusted with myself._

She had felt even worse remembering the last Freddy had said before he fell asleep; 'I love you', luckily slumber had captured him seconds later. She had stared at him a while wishing she could say it back. How had she gotten here, this wasn't who she was and now she couldn't remember how to get back.

****Flashback -2 months ago****

She hated crowded places so she didn't know why she had come to this club, but what she did know was that she wanted to forget, wanted to forget all those bad memories burned into her mind. After downing her poisons of choice she stumbled on to the dance floor, her mind whirling around as the beat began to flow through her. She felt hands on her body as she danced, no doubt varies men wanting to have a chance with the intoxicated blonde but after a while they got bored and moved on. She made no effort to remove their roaming digits, as she got lost within the thumping tunes. Naomi knew she would go home with one of them, have meaningless sex in a desperate hope to feel something more than this constant pain. It had been two years and yet she still hurt every day.

The new set of firm hands were travelling all over her body, ranking across her stomach, squeezing her chest, licking her neck and her feeble attempts to push him away didn't work. This guy was too forceful for her, her was touching her too rough. All her attempts to push him away only made me more eager as his hand travelled slowly up her thigh finding it's way under her skirt. Before she was aware what was happening someone pulled the guy away and hit square in the face sending him flying into the crowd of dancers. Suddenly Naomi found herself being pulled away from the crowd by a strong hand around her wrist. Feeling slightly strong she began to stop pulling her arm away from the person blinking hard to see who it was.

"Freddy?" She asked slightly confused.

"I'm taking you home." He said firmly, looking around to see if anyone was coming after yet for punching the other guy out.

"I don't want to go home." She told him. Truth was she didn't want to go home alone.

"That guy was gonna fuck you right on that dance floor." He shouted over the music, this was the girl he had met three years ago. The strength within her seemed to have withered and died somewhere along the lines.

"Maybe that's what I wanted!" She shouted back at him.

"It wasn't!" He said and again he attempted to pull her out of the club.

"You aren't my night in fucking shining armour Freddy!"

"Someone has to be." Naomi ripped herself out of his grip as he finally managed to get her outside. Instantly she began to walk away from him towards another club, the footsteps behind her told the blonde he was following her. "Where are you going?"

"Away from you." She didn't turn back and he didn't stop following her. The truth was he saw the same hurt in the blonde that in felt within himself, and he wasn't going to let it destroy her.

"That's what I get for saving you!"

"I never asked you to save me!" This stopped her as she turned to face him, her expression one of pure anger. "I never asked for any of this! Just leave me alone!" She shouted at him.

"I can't." He told her feeling more confidant now she had stopped and took a step towards Naomi. "I know what you're doing." The blonde lifted an eyebrow but didn't say anything. "You fuck to feel." Freddy knew it was crude but he knew that it was the only way to get through to her. "I do it. I go out and I find someone for a night just so when they touch me I forget how my heart is so fucked up."

"That's not true." She tried to tell him shaking her head but she knew that it didn't sound very convincing.

"It's not?" He saw his own pain reflected in her blue eyes, and decided that he wasn't going to let her go down that path any more, he was going to help her and maybe in the process she could help him too. Under his words and soulful eyes Naomi crumbled and sunk to the floor sitting on the kerb. "I know it hurts." He continued moving to sit beside the girl.

"I should be over this, I should be fine."

"Who says?" He offered her with a small smile.

"I just hate feeling this way, I hate waking up every day and having this same feeling, waiting for it to go away, but it doesn't." She told him staring at feet as her eyes started to prickle with tears.

"It's fucked up what they did to us, and it's not fair that we're the ones who are still suffering." Freddy said slightly angry venting some of his own pain from that last two years.

"Do you still love her?" Naomi asked him, gazing over to the beside her.

"I don't know." He shrugged. "I wouldn't take her back."

"Maybe it was my fault." Naomi mused more to herself than to the person beside her.

"How?" He asked her in complete disbelief.

"I could have showed her more, I could have been there for her more. I'd let her get so close but then I'd always pull away."

"I saw Effy every moment I could and it changed fuck all. It wasn't us." He told her, reaching out and squeezing her hand lightly. She listened to him but she couldn't help but think that part of this mess was her fault as well and maybe that was one of the reasons she was behaving this way.

"I want it to stop." she sniffled as she laced her fingers into his.

"Me too." Freddy agreed as they sat there in silence for a while, thinking how had they got to this place. He had thought he and Effy had over come so many obstacles they were made for each other. Slowly he turned to looked at the broken blonde beside him and found her eyes already upon him. Without any words being spoken she lifted her lips to his, enjoying the softness of his lips against her own. In her need to numb the pain within her chest she began to crush her lips against his. Freddy knew that he should pull back, he felt like he was taking advantage of the girl, but he needed this just as much as she did.

Naomi always left after, snuck out of bed while the person slept grabbed her clothes and exited the door. As soon as the sex was finished, all the emotions came back, but it was always worth it for those few moments of numbness she felt. She had not a single encounter that last more than one night since discovering Emily wrapped around Effy, truth was she wasn't looking for someone past that point. However when she woke to find herself tangled with Freddy the blonde made no attempt to more, she took comfort in his arm that pulled her close and simply rested her head on his chest. The pain was still there, she could feel it throbbing, but she knew his heart was doing the same. She stayed until the sun came up, she went to breakfast with him, they stayed in and watched a film together that night. They never spoke about where it was going or what they doing but somehow natural they just fell into place, and Naomi started the notice the aching had dulled a little.

Until the night where she had woken up on his couch to find him placing his coat on. Sleepily she looked up at the clock on the wall; it was 5 in the morning.

"We have to go." She knew what he was talking, it was the issue they had been ignoring for the past week.

"Why do we?" Naomi asked him sitting up.

"We need closure and this is the only way we're going to get it." She wanted to go back to sleep, she wanted to be anywhere but back at the park. But she sighed standing up. "We did make a promise." Freddy told her.

"We made lots of promises back then." She reminded him but grabbed her coat anyway. She hoped as that the rest of the gang had forgotten or they were going to arrive late. Because as they walked in the morning like to meet the people who had once been their best friends they had no idea everything was about to fall apart all over again.

***End flash back***

Now here they were almost 2 months on and everything had changed, she cared about him so much but was it love? It didn't feel like it did with Emily and that's all she had to compare it to. His touch didn't made her feel like she was fire and his lips didn't leave her breathless, she was content with friendly but she didn't have a passion for him. She knew it was wrong, but maybe if she gave it time then she would and could feel that way towards him.

There was too much going in her brain she had a thousand issues drowning her mind and she needed to escape to the only place she felt alone and yet protected from the world. Naomi gather her clothes that lay on the floor getting dressed quietly before leaving her other half asleep. She had thought after Emily she could never feel any worse but this was officially rock bottom. Effy and Emily, her and Freddy…how were they ever going to be friends? Was she still love with Emily?

"Fuck." She muttered to herself as she escaped the one bedroom flat that Freddy rented into the early morning light.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~

Emily let the wind whip around her face, it was been a long weekend, which had been chock full of assignments that she'd hardly had a chance to see Effy. It had been two weeks, since they had started their 'relationship' and even Emily wasn't sure if that was the right word. All that Emily knew and cared about was that being with Effy made her feel better, made her feel like she was living…although deep down she knew only Naomi made her feel alive. But Emily was starting to face facts that she had lost every chance with the blonde.

Turning off the path into the woods she climbed off her bike and began to push it down the small hill towards the lake. Even after all this time this was still one of her favourite places in the world. She had needed a break from her university work and the beautiful weather had called her name leading the redhead to this spot.

"Hi" The voice stopped her and she frowned with a confused smile at the blonde laying on a blanket.

"Hey." Emily replied as she put her bike down.

"What are you doing here?" Naomi asked propping herself up with her elbows.

"I should be asking what you're doing here?" She returned but the smile never left her face.

"What you can't share your favourite place?"

"I'm a twin, I share everything." A silence fell over them as they both tried to process something to say, anything to say. They hadn't been alone together like this this since the morning they had all met up. As much as it hurt to be near one another, they still feed on being in each others presence. "So what are you doing here?" Emily asked again but this time because she wanted to know what had brought the blonde here.

"The fresh air, clear my mind, some alone time, pick one." She offered with a shrug. "How about you?"

"The uni work is mounting up, just needed to get away for a little while." Naomi didn't know why but she patted the empty space next to her, all the while her mind flashed with images of Effy and Emily kissing in the car. The redhead looked at the spot beside her ex carefully before she walked over and sat down.

"Hey." Naomi muttered wanting to get the girls attention. "I didn't say this before, but you'll make a good teacher."

Emily rolled her eyes a little with an unconvincing smile. "Really? You're the only one."

"Nah, you will. You're still young enough to know how shit it was." The chuckled along remember their own teachers who seemed to be just as fucked up as they were. The silence that refused to leave them began to creep over the duo but before it could engulf Emily began to speak.

"Naomi…I need to tell you something." Emily didn't know why she was choosing to tell Naomi about her Effy, but she didn't want the blonde to find out from someone else…or ever worse witness it first hand like she had. Plus she wanted to explain things to Naomi.

"You and Effy?" She quickly added but didn't look up to see the surprised expression.

"What?" She shot out more in confusion and shock.

"You are seeing Effy, is that what you wanted to say?" As she chanced a quick glance at the redhead before looking back to the lake in front of them.

"How did you know?" Emily asked quietly.

"I came to see you the morning after you found about me and Freddy, you two were in the car." Emily nodded her head slowly as she watched the sun glinting on the water.

"I'm sorry."

"I guess we're even now." Emily shook her head and looked over to the blonde.

"It wasn't like that."

"You tried to kiss me that night." She started talk her voice a little louder than she wanted it to be. She didn't want to fight with Emily, but here she was again finding herself getting angry.

"I did and I regret that." The words hurt Naomi more than she expected them to. The truth was the only reason Emily regretted it because of the rejection and embarrassment she felt. "I'm sorry you found out about it the way you did, I wanted to be the one."

"So are you two in a relationship?"

"Sort of…we're just taking things as they come." She said with a slight shrug. "We don't have to talk about this, I just wanted you to know."

"I want us to be…to be friends." Naomi finally managed to say, it was true. She needed to have Emily in her life, even if she had to endure Effy. She wouldn't admit it out loud but no matter the pain she needed Emily like she needed to breathe.

"Me too." Emily said with a beaming smile., her heart literally skipped a beat. She wanted to tell Naomi that she missed her but she knew it was too soon.

"Freddy told me he loved me." She wasn't sure why she told Emily, she just needed someone to talk to. The words caused the redhead to chock on the breath she had just inhaled, and she felt her stomach dropped.

"What did you say?" Emily enquired a little too quickly needing to know the answer.

"I didn't say anything. I don't know if I feel the same." She told her honestly. "I don't think I do. I needed to get away."

"You worried about what you're gonna say when you see him?" She hit the nail right on the head and it gave Naomi comfort realising how well Emily still knew her.

"Pretty much. But I can't say what I don't feel…Thank you, for listening."

"It's okay."

"No really thank you. You don't have to listen. I'm glad you're here"

Naomi slowly reached out and placed her hand over Emily's and she couldn't help but think of the way Freddy had reached out for her own two months ago. She felt guilty holding the other girls hand in this way but not guilty enough to pull her hand back. The sat there not saying anything just holding hands, their heads might be moving on or at least trying to, but what they still didn't realise was that their hearts were still very intertwined.


	12. wake up call

******I'm so sorry for my lack of update, but someone gave me a private message and it really made me finish this update, so bug me and i will continue it. Let me know what you think. Kinda starts to suck half way through, so sorry again. This is setting it up for the nest chapter. Thank you to everyone who is still reading this, thank you*****

Naomi watched as Emily disappeared into the distance, pushing her bike up the small hill and then she was gone and the blond was alone. Slowly Naomi turned her gaze back to the sun shining upon the small lake in front of her. She clenched her fist, attempting to savor the feeling of Emily's touch on her hand. It was impossible to deny the way in which they fitted together and how easy it was talking to the redhead. Time has the ability to change so much but somehow the bond between them had remained. After everything they had done to each other they could still sit there and feel completely comfortable. But Naomi knew it was more than just a simple bond, what held them together was love, she still loved Emily. And the last hour had only confirmed what her heart had been shouting at her. But it wasn't that simple…Nothing is ever that simple. The time she had just spent with Emily had been a lovely distraction from her crazy mind but now it was time to face her fears. Naomi reached into her bag and pulled out the open box; inside was the used test.

Blue.

Positive.

A blue positive sign.

Naomi Campbell was pregnant.

The head strong opinionated Naomi Campbell had managed to get herself up the duff, she had a bun in the oven in other words she had royally fucked up. Naomi had thought about kids, every girl does but they had been fleeting idea's and never for one second did she think she'd be in this situation so young. She threw the test down on the blanket and gave a frustrated sigh into her hands.

"Fuck!"

She and Freddy had never had unprotected sex, they had always been safe; always! She had actually made him stop once and run down the road with a hard on to get a johnny. She had always listened to her mother about enjoying life before having children, and that was her plan…until now. Naomi could feel hot tears burning her eyes as she thought about how her world was going to come crashing down around her.

"I'm not ready." She said aloud to herself as a fit of sobs made her shoulders shake and it vibrated through her body. The idea of being responsible for a child sent a fear through her. What would people say? What would her mother say…What would Emily think of her? There were too many questions and she wished more than anything that she could just switch her overactive brain off.

She needed to go to the doctors or the clinic…Naomi thought to herself, she needed to put her sensible head back on. Once she had all the dates and confirmation then she could decide on what she was going to do; adoption, abortion or keeping the baby. The blond tried to imagine her and Freddy with a child, despite being in their 20's they still felt like children themselves…but she couldn't help thinking that he would make a good father. Before she allowed the day dream to sink in she quickly shook her thoughts away and focused on what she was going to do now.

Doctors/clinic.

She didn't want to go alone, however her options of people to go with was unsurprisingly short. The person she wanted to tell more than anything was Emily, the redhead had a way to calm all her fears but she knew that it was a crazy idea. And she couldn't tell Freddy because that just made it all too real. The other choice was her mother but she didn't want to hear the lecture on how she'd screwed up her life.

"I need more friends." She chuckled sadly to herself. In a panic she grabbed her phone and against her better judgment began to ring the only alternative she really had.

******

Naomi sat in the waiting room fidgeting ideally as she watched people around her get called up and go in different rooms. Her palms were becoming sweaty and for the first time her mind was completely blank of thought as the reality finally began to hit her.

"Chill out babe." Came the voice from beside her and she turned with an annoyed expression.

"Chill out?" She repeated in a tone slightly more high pitched. "Are you serious Cook?"

"I'm sure the stress ain't good for the baby." He said with a cocky smile and she resisted the temptation to beat it off his face.

"Why the hell did I call you?" Naomi said more to herself that to the guy beside her.

"Because you had no one else." He shrugged, as though he was meant to answer the question, and the look she gave him made his smile drop. "Wait was that one of those rhetorical question things?"

"Fuck sake." She almost laughed.

"So you going to tell the Fredster?" Cook asked her after a few seconds of silence, which she actually preferred than facing the horrible truth.

"I guess."

"So this just between you and me then?"

"Yep." She sighed in frustration. "I just want to tell him in my own time." He nodded in understanding and she hoped that he could actually keep his mouth shut.

"Okay I've seen about 3 girls, who have some Cookie lovin' going through here. Thank fuck for protection eh? You should have probably invested in some." The man finally said attempting to change the subject.

"So tactful." Naomi couldn't stay annoyed at Cook however with his infectious boyish charm. "We did use protection." With a frown he turned to her and pointed at her stomach. "They aren't like a 100% safe."

The boys jaw fell down. "What?"

"Even if your on the pill or if you use a condom there is still the chance, you know."

"No I didn't know." Naomi laughed out loud and she instantly felt a little better and was slightly glad about her choice to bring Cook for company. It was true that he was really her only option but he had said yes and she knew that he wouldn't say anything. "Fuck me, I've got some calls to make." She couldn't help but chuckle again at the look on his face.

"Miss Campbell?" A nurse asked looking around the room and Naomi's heart stopped in her chest and the terror came rushing over her once again as she slowly began to stand up.

"You want me to come in with ya babe?" The offer was sweet but she shook her head as like a zombie she began to follow the woman through another door.

*****

Naomi walked out into the humid afternoon, happy to be leaving the building. She walked towards cook who was speaking animatedly on the phone.

"Fuck yeah, I'm in. Defo man." He spoke with a huge grin on his face. "Give me a call later with the details." And with that he shut his phone as he clocked Naomi approaching him. "So…"

"I don't wanna talk about it." Naomi told him as she wrapped her arms around herself with a sad smile. She needed to figure it all out for herself before she started speaking about it.

"No worries. I got good news." She waited for him to speak as he tried to build up some excitement to his announcement. "Gobbler's End?"

"Are you shitting me?"

"Fuck no. Camping and this time it's going to be even fucking better!"

Naomi doubted it could have get much worse than last time they all went. "Why's that?"

"Because I've been invited." He laughed.

"Who's going?" Really the question should have been are Emily and Effy going.

"Everyone! This weekend, no excuses." He said just as her mind was trying to think of a reason not to attend. "Now let's getting mummy home!" She tried to smile but it felt like such an effort. Inside she silently followed him while trying to forget the days events and the thought of being stuck with Emily and Effy for a while weekend with no escape route. People are right…when it rains it fucking hammers it down!


	13. before the worst

******I really really should read through this because i've just been writing bits on my phone and sending them to my computer so it probably doesn't flow very well and there will be loads of mistakes. For that i'm really sorry but i've got a stomach bug and all i really want to do is sleep. When i feel better maybe i'll back over this. Please let me know what you think, it really means a lot to get feed back. Anyway i'm gonna get some rest. Thanks to everyone who reads this!!******

Emily was exhausted, she had just started her teacher training in school and the early mornings were starting to take it out of her. The weekends were usually when she would catch up on that much needed rest but this Saturday she had been awoken early. The journey to Gobbler's End took a couple of hours and seeing as some of the others had already been there since yesterday Effy had decided to leave before 10. Emily had been surprised when Effy had driven up right on time, considering that Effy was the worst person for getting up early. The had been on the road for what felt like forever, they had driven in silence mostly and on a few occasions she had wanted to ask what was on Effy's mind. Everything had been find when she'd gone to see the brunette after school the previous day, but something was clearly going on in that complicated mind of hers.

"are you okay with this?" Effy asked as she looked at the girl out of the corner of her eye. She was watching for a slight reaction a flinch or an over the top shrug that would say more than her words would. Emily looked at her with slightly confused eyes, Effy would bring the world burning to the ground just to have those brown orbs upon her.

"course. We all have to try and be friends don't we?" It was a question, Emily finally started to understand the girls mood next to her. She hadn't come to be best friends with Naomi or Freddy or couldn't even look at her and more. His ignoring her, hurt her more than she would ever admit or let on. Effy had agreed to come back to gobbler's end for Emily and it was a reason to see panda, the former best friends didn't have much time to catch up and Effy decided that was time to change. "It's a group of friends camping, let's hope it's less eventful that last time". Emily chuckled a little but Effys face was less impressed. "sorry". "no I'm sorry for being paranoid." it was little things like this that scared Effy, how easily she had apologized to Emily. The hold the redhead had on her was getting stronger daily. "fuck it let's just have a wicked weekend, yeah?" she asked as she slipped her hand on Effys as it rested on the gear stick. Effy smiled. She couldn't refuse Emily anything. This was usually the point when she would hit the ground running. Effy knew what was happening had felt it happen for the last three years, felt it in the deepest pits of heart. She was falling in love with Emily. Falling in love with her honest smile, her gentle giggle and her tender embrace. She was fallen in love with a heart already claimed. Love is crazy though you get no choice who your heart decides to follow, and she knew even if she tried her feet were not going to allow her to walk away.

"So you reckon everyone knows?" Effy asked looking for the turn off.

"Well Naomi has more than likely told Freddy, who's told JJ and Cook. I told Katie who took it very well." Emily laughed thinking about her sister shocked expression. "And you told Panda?"

"I tried ringing her so I left her voice mail."

"We aren't in college anymore so we don't have to tell go around telling everyone, it's up us who we date." As she shone Effy one of her winning smiles."Hey we're here. That's a point for me and my bollocks directions!" Emily gave a smug smile and Effy shock her head. "or maybe I just have a good memory." Effy argued as she pulled the car in to park. Turning off the engine she looked over at the girl beside her. "if it weren't for me we would still be in that farmers field!" Emily began to laugh remembering the puzzled look on her girlfriends face. Suddenly she felt Effy shift next to her as warm lips found her own. It took Emily only a moment to compose herself and place her hands around the taller girls delicate neck. Effy's lips were warm and soft as they gently brushed against her own. Emily savored the flavor of fruit from Effys mouth. After a time the brunette pulled away and rested her forehead against Emily's. "what was that for? Not that I'm complaining." Effy sighed deeply as she gently brushed her nose against Emily's. 3 words sat on the tip of her Tongue but it was too soon and the fear pulled it back down her throat and hid the words away. "just coz." came the reply with a wide smile. "we should probably get our stuff." "in a second." and with the she crushed her lips upon Effys who smiled into the kiss. Ignoring her heart who was telling her that Emily felt the same. The sound of a car pulling in caused both girls to break away. For a moment both girls just stared at the blue ford and it was only when the car had stopped that Emily caught sight of the blonde hair. Naomi and Freddy. Effys expression seemed to match her own. Regrettable Emily moved out of Effys arms and got out the car, leaving the brunette watching her leave as her heart contracted tightly in her chest. "hey." Emily greeted the duo as they exited the car also. "hey," Naomi responded before shooting Freddy a look as he sighed and greeted the other girl. "did you find the it okay this time?" the blonde asked as flashes of their last here came back to her. Having Emily's hand up her skirt as she attempted to keep quiet with JJ sleeping beside them. "yeah no run with crazy guys with fucking guns." Emily laughed as she went to the boot of the car to help Effy with their bags. "we had to stop for directions." Freddy didn't seem to be happy with Naomi telling about this. "I would have found it." he interjected as Naomi rolled her eyes behind his back and for some reason at this gesture Emily's heart raced. "hey let me get that." Emily quickly said as she saw Effy struggling with their back pack. "thanks." the brunette replied as she leaned in and kisses Emily quickly upon the lips. Naomi quickly looked away she felt the blow to her chest. Emily put her head down embarrassed at the display of affection. Freddy grunted beside Naomi as she turned towards him. "she does that on fucking purpose I know it!" he whispered to his girlfriend. "just be nice." Naomi told him moving in closer to him, the truth was Naomi needed this time away, she wanted to clear her mind of everything that had happened over the last week. "why the hell?" He asked through gritted teeth. "because we're trying this weekend." "how can you just be normal with them?" he asked as she slipped his arms around her. "maybe it was fate." Freddy went to start talking before she quickly continued. "because there wouldn't be a you and me eh?" and with that he leaned down and kissed her passionately and Naomi knew she was being marked as his. This is going to be a fun weekend she thought to herself as she pulled away. Effy who watched as Emily began to walk to the camp (clearly because of the kissing couple) was thinking exactly the same thing.

***the walk had been fair uneventful and quiet. The girls in front interlocked their hands catching each others eye before smiling shyly. Naomi watched with a jealous monster clawing away inside her, Freddy's arm draped over her shoulders felt like the weight of the world. They could hear the room before they even got close cooks voice echoed all the way through the wood. "I hear birds coming." and all of a sudden the heard the boy running towards them. "Jesus Christ! How did you know!?" Naomi asked as her came in front of them. "I've got a fucking nose for pussy's and the smell of you four came from miles nose like a pussy hound me!" he laughed as he three his arm around Freddy's neck pulling him in for a hug. "Tosser" he chuckled along. Naomi couldn't deny how easy cook made things feel normal and maybe even better. "okay okay, now let's get some beer and get this thing fucked up!" when all the tens were finally done cook went round handing out beers and walked past Naomi who reached out and grabbed his arm. "Oi where's mine prick?" "well should you be drinking in you condition?" "let me fucking worry about that!" she whispered harshly as she snatched one out of his hands. "just keep your mouth shut!"

"I'm just gonna go get some wood for a fire." Emily said as she exited her tent.

"On your own?" JJ asked about to step forward and offer his services. Effy walked over kissing the redhead softly on the lips as a silent goodbye for now.

"Yes, I'll be fine. Actually if I'm not back in 20 minutes come look for me." She chuckled before walking off, squeezing Effy's hand. "Don't worry I'll stay close." She continued as she heard protests from JJ.

Emily walked through the wood kicking up the leaves that were already starting to fall. Global warming was a bitch. It was still a warm afternoon but she could tell the cold would start to seep in later, and the fire would be their only source of warmth.

The redhead smiled faintly however knowing that she would have someone to hold through the night. It was strange, it was obvious to see the way the gang saw them. They were the odd pair, maybe even the most unlikely couple of the group. But in some weird and unexpected way they just worked, they didn't have particularly deep and long conversations, they didn't need to. Effy had this ability to touch her and it instantly cleared her mind. Emily had never experienced a relationship like this. With Naomi they talked sometimes for hours, ranging from nothing important, all the way through to their deepest fears. Picking up some wood Emily couldn't decide which one felt more comforting.

Why was it that whenever she thought about the good points in her relationship her heart instantly brought up time spent with Naomi. And she could feel it slowly getting worse considering her close proximity to both girls over the weekend.

"What the fuck am I doing her?" She asked herself.

"Collecting fire wood?" Came a reply and Emily didn't need to turn around to know the voice belong to Naomi.

"Very observant of you." Emily responded with her back still facing the blonde and a smile on her face.

"Just one of my many amazing talents." The redhead couldn't help but swoon at the familiar chuckle coming from behind her.

"Cocky." She replied as she final twisted to face her ex. "So you come to give me a hand?" Emily enquired as she threw some sticks to the new arrival who awkwardly caught them.

"Hey!" The redhead laughed. "I actually thinking of myself in a more supervisory role, you know pointing and telling you what to pick up."

"I'm beginning to think that thinking isn't your strong point."

Naomi faked an expression somewhere between shock and hurt, dramatically placing a hand over her heart. "If I wasn't the bigger person here I'd make you do this your bloody self."

"Oh are you mocking my height now as well?" Emily couldn't help but notice how easily slipped into their playful banter and even though it was innocent she couldn't shake the sense of guilt she was feeling. Maybe that was because she was enjoying this interaction too much. "Get to work." Emily demanded slightly too forceful getting caught of guard by her roaming emotions. "It'll get cold soon and when everyone freezes we're going to get the blame."

Silently the duo began to collect stray branches while Naomi found her eyes wandering over Emily's body and quickly adverted her gaze to the task at hand. "Did I not love you enough?" The quiet words caused the shorter girl to stop in the middle of bending down. For a moment she contemplated pretending she hadn't heard anything. That plan was quickly dissolved however when she felt intense blue eyes on her and she knew there was no way of escaping the question.

"Naomi…" Emily started but the rest of the words got caught in her throat.

"I just need to know." Even after this time the redhead couldn't deny Naomi an answer and she scrunched up her eyes trying to un-jumble her racing mind.

"You couldn't have loved me any better." The puzzled look on the taller girl's face told Emily that wasn't the answer she had been expecting.

"Then why?" The blonde's sad tone was braking down all of the walls surrounding this topic, she'd tried so hard to bury it away inside her and now Emily knew she had to let it all out. "It was just wasn't…it wasn't you Em."

"I know." She didn't have a proper response or excuse so she didn't bother to try and think one up. "It was a million reasons wrapped up into one mistake, loneliness, paranoia, alcohol. I don't know. I know you deserve better than that. But it wasn't about Effy, I didn't want to be with her."

"But you do now?" Naomi shot back quickly.

"…Yes."

"This is bollocks. I'm trying to do the grown up mature thing but it's just complete and utter shit. I know I have no right to be jealous but I am and seeing you two together is just wank! But I'm trying to be happy for you." Naomi said but refused to look into the surprised brown eyes staring over at her. She had been holding it for so long that it felt like a weight had been lifted when it all spilled out. "I know. You think your life is heading in one direction and then bang out of nowhere you're on a different path. And I'm aware it was all my fucking fault. But it still hurts. And I'm still sorry I will always be sorry about it." Emily responded giving the blonde a sad smile. "but if you're happy then I'm happy Naomi." 'I'd be happier with you' were the words running through her head but they didn't leave her mouth. "are you happy with Effy?" Naomi asked quietly not able to make eye contact. "yeah." Emily said after a moment, playing the question over in her head trying to get the answer right. "after everything I wasn't expecting it. You know I thought I was gonna be stuck in the bell tower but now it just feels right." "then that's all that matters and I'm going to be happy for you." Naomi attempted to sound honest but the word happy became quiet. "do you love him?" Emily knew she had no right to ask the question nor did she deserve to know the answer. It's just that their last conversation by the lake was still sitting with her. And the thought that Naomi might love Freddy back made her heart twist in knots. "there are things about him that I love. He's caring and gentle. But I'm not in love with not like I was with..." she didn't finish the sentence but she didn't need to they both knew the last word was 'you'. A silence fell over them suddenly not because they didn't have anything to say, but what they wanted to say could no longer be said. Words unspoken are the most deadly to the human language. "it feels like so long ago since we were last here doesn't it?" the blonde kept trying to make conversation putting off going back to the camp and she wanted to fill the quiet. "I know. Everything has changed so much." Emily knew that she was partly responsible for how everything had fallen apart. "we going to be okay?" she asked as she caught eye contact and found herself being pulled into blue orbs. "I think we are." Naomi told her honestly. If she had to deal with Effy and Emily together then so be it. Maybe This was how fate had planned life for them but Naomi couldn't help but notice the protests from her heart. "we should probably get back." Emily said with her arms full of sticks. And the blonde knew she was right, Freddy would probably be freaking out about now. Begrudgingly both girls made their way back. And as their arms accidentally brushes against each other the electric bolt struck both of them.

Cook was first to spot them as they came out from the woods, waving a beer can at them. "so now the birds are back let's get things going?"

he said as the group started to turn to face him. "anyone up for a game of I never?" "what are we twelve?" Katie chipped in and before anyone could noticed he gave her a sneaky wink. "well what better way to catch up over the last three years. Unless your all worried about what's going to come out?" In turn he looked at each gang member as they all begin to take steps forward. "fuck it!" Katie said as she sat on

******

"I've never fucked in the last week?" every one looked around before all the members of the group apart from jj took a drink." "great I'm gonna be the only sober one at the end of this game." he sighed. "who have you been screwing?" Emily asked as she saw her sister slyly take a sip. "no one you know." and her twin was sure that she detected a slight blush. "right so it's my turn now." she quickly thought though ideas. "I've never had sex." and smiled at jj as he proudly took a bit gulp of his beer. "your turn." "I don't know this is shit." Naomi told them. "just say one." "fine. I've never slept with a girl." she said taking a sip herself. However it was only Pandora who didn't raise her can. "KATIE!" Emily shouted out of shock. "are you fucking kidding me?" "that's fucking hot!" cook laughed as a mental image started to drift in to his mind. Now all he wanted to do was take Katie into that tent and fuck her senseless. Subconsciously he shock his end trying to focus on the information coming out. "well I wanted to see what it was all about. Uni's for experimenting and all of that." Katie shrugged." "and?" effy asked clearly intrigued. And with a slight curious expression on her face. "I don't see what all the fuss is about." her face was so matter of fact that rest of the gang couldn't hold in their laughter. "bro that's two broads you've turned gay!" cook said laughing. "fuck off!" but he couldn't help but laugh as well. "Thomo your turn." Freddy noted. As he began to skin up. "Erm let me think. I have never cheated." he said and everyone suddenly looked down at their cans. Slowly Emily, cook, effy, Pandora and Katie all took a sip. No one made any eye contact an slowly Thomas realized that he had made a mistake. He reached out and squeezed Pandora's hand to tell her it was alright. "well that fucking ruined the mood." cook said laughing. "I've never fucked two people at one...I know I fucking have!" he toasted his can and took a swing followed by effy and Katie. He winked at the twin. "now that's my type of bird!" "any one want some?" Freddy offered holding his spliff up, as Naomi took it from his fingers. "should you be doing that?" cook said leaning over jj. "shut up!" she spat back at him. "what's going on?" Freddy asked as he watched his girlfriend interacting with his friend. And it didn't take a genius to work out that it was meant to be a secret. "nothing." Naomi quickly said back taking a drag of the spliff in the before shooting cook a look that told him to shut the fuck up. "it's not fucking nothing." he returned his voice a little more sharper than she expected and it took her back slightly. "leave it." she warned and as the conversation drew the attention of the whole group. "You're up the duff you can't be doing this shit." and just like that there was silence and all eye fell on her.


	14. Shark in the water

*****Updated finally...Hope this is easy to follow. I'm really really not happy with this Chapter and the spelling and everything is terrible. But i knew that if i didn't post it i probably never would. So here it is. Please let me know what you think and if you'd like me to continue. Thanks so much for everyone who comments and reads this :o) *****

Naomi found Emily's eyes first through the smoke of the fire before she quickly snapped them to Freddy who looked like he had just swallowed a razor blade. The rest of the gang seemed to be too shocked to speak, as they waited to see how it was all going to unfold. Naomi opened her mouth in same attempt to speak but nothing left her lips.

"Pregnant?" the word seemed to get caught in Freddy's throat. His eyes traveling over her face unable to rest on one spot, perhaps just unable to look at her at all.

Emily was not capable of listening to any of it and quietly slipped away from the group unnoticed by everyone apart from Effy. The brunette debated about going after but decided to give Emily some space. Effy wished that it didn't effect Emily, but she seen the way the redhead had stumbled back on hearing the news of Naomi. The brunette couldn't help thinking she was waiting for a lost cause.

"Freddy I...fuck sake Cook! Why couldn't you keep your mouth shut for once." She turned her mood on to him quickly to try and give herself some more time to think. It had all happened too fast.

"Look babe, you gotta look after yourself." He said and his tone seem so genuine that Naomi was a loss for anything to say back and simply glared at him.

"Naomi..." Freddy started wanting his girlfriends full attention again. He knew they were being watched but right now he didn't care. "Are you pregnant? and you told Cook before you spoke to me?"

"It wasn't like that. I just needed someone and he was there." As soon as she said it the blonde knew she had chosen the wrong words.

"I was here!" he shouted back.

"I'm not pregnant!" she finally spat out.

"I was at the clinic babe." Cook added but the look from the blonde told him to keep out, so he adverted his eyes and took a swig from his can.

"It was a fucking false positive. I'm not pregnant. I'm not." she said the last words quietly looking over to Emily only to find that she was gone. Her eyes scanned over the group a slow fear creeping through her, where had the redhead gone?

"Why didn't you tell me?" Freddy's voice brought her back to reality, and the sadness in his tone should have touched her deeper than it did.

"Because when I told you it became real and I needed to figure it out on my own." she tried to explain.

"But Cook was okay to take?" it was a fair question the blonde knew that and his eyes looked sad and hurt and Naomi hated that she had caused that in him.

"no, it wasn't like that. It was just...I knew Cook wouldn't ask questions or make me feel bad-"

"and I would!?"

"no, Jesus that isn't what I meant!" she looked around at all the faces surrounding her and the only person she wanted to look at was Emily, the only person she wanted to explain it to was Emily. "I have no find Emily, she's out there alone." and that seemed to hit Freddy more than the pregnancy talk.

"You don't. She's not your responsibility, she's Effy's now." The words stun stronger than they should have, the say the truth is a hard pill to swallow and this pill had blades in it. She met Effy's gaze as the brunette nodded and got up and following in the direction that Emily had left a moment previous.

As the brunette walked off she could still here the argument continuing. She felt bad for the blonde she couldn't begin to understand how scary it might be and getting attacked by Freddy would only make it worse. She wished that she had stood up for her in some  
way but she knew it wasn't her place to get involved. Instead she focused on the task of finding her other half.

Emily sat on the stump of a tree a few feet in front of her, and from her shaking shoulders it was clear the small girl was crying. Effy waited a few moments before approaching and sitting beside her. The shorter girl tried to hold in her sobs not waiting Effy to see her crying.

Emily looked over at Effy even in the dark it was easy to see the mascara falling down her face, smudged down her cheeks. Effy couldn't help but notice how beautifully broken the redhead looked. In an attempt to try and easy some of the pain she forced her lips against Emily's. Hungrily she fused their mouths together slipping her tongue  
out and tasting the salt from her tears.

Emily pushed herself into the kiss savoring the blankness that came along with it until reality seeped in. Softly she began to push Effy back unsuccessfully. "no...Effy." she grabbed her wrists and pulled away letting the night air hit her lungs. "no, this isn't about sex." Emily explained to the blank look on Effy's face. "You don't have to fuck me to claim me." The brunette turned her head and looked in front on her. Emily reached out and squeezed her hand. "I just need you." she could see Effy nod and Emily placed her head on her shoulder as they sat in silence.

Effy was tempted if only for a second to not tell Emily about the pregnancy, to hold her like this for a few moments longer. Fucking conscious she thought silently to herself. "She's not pregnant." she said slowly as Emily's head shot up.

"What do you mean?" Emily's mind was suddenly whirling. She had thought that Naomi was gone for good…did she still want her?

"it was a false positive, she isn't really pregnant." Effy said her eyes watching Emily intensely.

"oh" was all Emily said looking away from the tense blue eyes, scared she might see her real emotions bubbling away uncontrollably .

"I think you need sometime." Effy finally said with a sad smile, her heart breaking in her chest.

"that isn't what I meant." Emily tried to explain but it was too late Effy was already standing up. "you're making this into a big deal."

"I think you did that. I'll bunk in with JJ tonight." Emily closed her eyes in frustration trying to think of something to make Effy stay. This isn't how she had seen this weekend panning out. They were clearly not meant to go camping.

There were so many things that she wanted to shout out after the girl as she walked away but instead she sat there and watched. Tears started to fall but instead of tears for Naomi they were mixed with ones belonging to Effy. Maybe she had moved on too quickly...however can three years really be considered too soon. "fucking hell." she  
said through sobs as she let them over take her.

****

Freddy woke early stretching out to the girl beside him but instead found her place empty. He sat up blinking his eyes awake, trying to focus on the sleeping bag beside him; it had not been slept in. Slowly the memories from the previous night started to come back to him, Naomi had thought she was pregnant. He couldn't help but imagine a life with Naomi and a little baby, and although he knew things were far too new to be thinking about such things; Freddy felt happy. What hurt him was that Naomi hasn't even told him, would she have ever told him?

Quickly throwing a jumper on he opened his tent and stepped out. It was still a little cold so he was happy for having the extra layer. Nobody else was awake yet or if they were they had yet to come outside. Freddy scanned around trying to see if the girl had simply got up and was having a walk to clear her head. He felt like a royal cunt. He should have been more supportive he should have held her and told Naomi it was all okay he should have done a lot of things and now he didn't know where she was.

Walking over to JJ's tent he pulled the zipper down. "jay..." he started but stopped when he saw Effy laying in there as well.

Blue eyes blinked open and see starred at Freddy for a few moments before looking over to jj and realized what he must have thought.

"Oh this isn't a-what it looks like." JJ said and Effy just looked away. Freddy zipped the tent closed again and walked away waiting for JJ to join him outside which the curly hair boy did a few moments later.

"You don't have to explain to me Jay." Freddy said even before JJ had opened his mouth.

"No I do, we didn't…you know. I think her and Emily had a fight so she stayed with." JJ explain and it was the truth.

"Right…shit." Freddy thought as something slowly entered his mind. "Is Emily in their tent then?" JJ looked at him confused.

"I suppose so. Why?"

"Naomi wasn't there when I woke up this morning." He began to pace and different scenarios entered his head.

"And you think that Emily might be with Naomi?" The shorter boy said trying to piece everything together even though half his brain was still asleep.

"What about Naomi and Emily?" The third voice caused both males to turn around quickly to see Effy standing there with her eye brows knotted.

"Is Em in your tent?" JJ asked before Freddy shot him a look. Lazily the brunette walked over to her tent and opened it.

"Nope." She attempted to sound like she didn't care and shrugged her shoulders, but inside a hand was squeezing at her heart. "Where's Naomi?"

"No idea." He was worse at masking his feelings as he rubbed his face hard with his hands.

"Well we should probably go and look for them. I'll wake Katie up." JJ told them but as he got close to the tent one half the twins quickly exited.

"I'm up. What's going on?" She seemed a little disorientated as hurriedly zipped up her tent, as Effy stared at her.

"Naomi and Effy have disappeared." He answered. "Where's Cook?" JJ suddenly thought allowed.

"I don't know. Why would I know?" Three sets of eyes looked at her. "I'm just saying."

"Maybe he's with them, they might have gone to get something." JJ offered although he didn't think that either Freddy or Effy believed him. "How about we give it another half hour and if they aren't-" He was cut off when he saw the two girls in question walk back into the camp. "Or we could stay here and they'll be back." The young man said pointing to them approaching.

Katie couldn't help but laugh…"This is ironic don't you think." And Freddy turned to shoot her an evil look while Effy only looked down to the floor. It was ironic…she couldn't help what had happened with Freddy, she loved him, she wanted him more than she wanted to breathe, was that how it had been for Naomi and Emily? Her Emily? Naomi's Emily? Effy thought reaching adulthood meant that everything became easier and drama just slipped away but that was a load of bullshit.

"Where have you been?" Freddy asked as he began to walk towards his girlfriend.

"Nowhere." Naomi said shooting a small glance to Emily who continued walking towards Effy. The redhead stopped in front of her but the blue eyes didn't look up from the ground.

"Effy?" She asked.

"You two clearly weren't nowhere." Freddy's voice interrupted.

"I realised that Emily hadn't come back and so I went to find her. That's the beginning and that's the end. Nothing I repeat nothing happened." Naomi told him., while trying to watch the exchanged happening before her.

"Nothing happened." Emily repeated her gaze still fixed upon the brunette.

"It doesn't matter." Effy shrugged as she began to walk off back to their tent.

"It does." Emily called after. "I don't want you thinking I'm that type of person." Katie stood off to the side just watching it all.

"Well considering what happened with us…why would I be shocked." Emily looked shocked as she looked at the girl in complete and utter disbelief.

"You're going to throw that in my face." She shouted after her.

"You promise nothing happened." Freddy asked getting Naomi's attention.

"Yes." The blonde swallowed hard and looked into his expressive eyes, he smiled widely and pulled her into his arms. Over his shoulder she continued to watch her ex carefully.

"Effy please." Emily called out after her a desperation coating her words.

"Let's just talk about it when we get home." Effy said but her back was still turned against the redhead. She didn't have the energy, the energy to pretend. Her heart was contracting inside and she couldn't let the redhead see it.

"Okay." She responded quietly as she went to their tent also to start packing up.

"Well that was disappointing." Katie shrugged as she sneaked back into her tent without anyone seeing the male who was asleep inside.

****

Emily was staring out the window of the car, the plans to stay until the evening had been abandoned and Emily couldn't deny she was relived. Effy hadn't spoken to her since their confrontation at the campsite, not that she had tried to start the conversation. Slyly she looked over the beautiful brunette beside her, to say she was breathtakingly stunning was an understatement. Effy had the most intense eyes that she'd ever seen. Her skin was perfectly pale, and her hidden smile made her feel special when she grinned. And here Emily was fucking everything up, what was wrong with her.

"I'm sorry." The redhead finally spoke. Effy just quickly glanced at her before looking back to the road. "Nothing happened", her voice held strong as she remembered the blonde's lips on her own.

*

Naomi and Freddy hadn't said much since they had left the campsite after the rest of the group. She knew what he was thinking the blonde just sat waiting for him to ask what was burning a hole in his mind."Are you sure nothing happened?" Freddy asked what felt like the twentieth time but for the first time it hurt heart to hear it, she could tell this was causing him pain.

"Nothing, we were just talking and then we just crashed out." Memories of the red heads breath on her lips made Naomi's head dizzy.

*

"You do believe me don't you?" Emily asked trying to push thought's of Naomi out of her mind.

"Should I?" The brunette asked quickly as her pulse raced.

"Yes. It's you okay." With that she reached out and squeezed Effy's thigh and it caused a heat to run up into Effy's centre.

*

"Good because I'm thinking of sticking around." He said finally smiling as Naomi did the only thing she knew to distract him reaching over and undid his flies.

"Are you serious?" and Naomi just flashed him a devilish smile.

****

JJ and Cook were the first to rush into the hospital only stopping when they arrived at the reception, the other five quickly behind them.

"We're looking for…" He told the woman stuttering out the two names of his friends. "Where are they? Are they alright?"

"Are you family?" The woman asked eyeing up the old group of people standing in front of her.

"Y-Yes." JJ managed to get out although his breath was still leaving him heavily after running from the car. But she continued to look at them questioningly.

"He told you, we're all fucking family, so where the fuck are they?" Cook suddenly came forward, not in the mood for this woman's bullshit. Eventually she sighed and told them where to go.

Although the group had speed to get here after hearing about the car accident swiftly their paced changed, they didn't know what they were going to find. So they walked slowly to the elevator quietly. They supported each other as the lift went up and opened to a nurse and doctor rushing past them…dashing into the room they were heading to.

*****Who was in the accident?!?!*****


	15. Last request

*****Sorry this is short it's a just a filler before the next chapter. sorry about spelling etc*****

Everything in life is in constant motion and we are changing as much as the world is, even though people often protest that they're still the same. It's a lie. The changes that come to face us and how we deal with them ultimately decide what type of person we are destined to become. When these changes are in front of you, there is fork in the road ahead, and you have two options; deal with it or run from it. It sounds easy and it is foolish to believe that this choice is straightforward, of course we all think we'll do the right thing. It's not simple; the choices we make are messy and complicated and sometimes the path we should choose is the one our heart can not follow. The biggest thing that we have to deal with is that life is not the fairy tale that you imagine, most people pick the 'run from it' option but sadly we have to face reality at some point. The moment the rug is pulled from under our unsteady legs you fall and when you hit the ground it hurts. That's what your first proper heartbreak is, it's you hitting the floor after the world has been pulled out from under you. The landing is never quite as hard as the first one but it still does damage. The key is how you pick yourself up and dust the debris off; it's the art of forgiveness. People deem forgiveness to be an easy act, saying 'I forgive you' and then moving on; no. Forgiveness is for only those who are strong, and if you have changed and picked the right paths then maybe you can forgive but then again maybe you can't. The girl sat in the waiting room in the hospital considering if she was strong enough to be forgiven and to forgive in return.

The hospital was abuzz with doctors and nurses rushing past her ignoring her pale and tear soaked face. Her mascara had cascaded down her cheeks but she made no attempt to wipe it away or clean herself up. Her face and the persona she projected onto the world was a mess just like her insides at that moment. If she attempted to clean herself up it would be a lie, pretending to be fine when she wasn't and there would be no more lying. The worry and panic surging through her body was like nothing she had ever known or experienced, she was on edge, hanging on by a thread. Every movement around her caused her head to shoot up hoping they had come with news anything to help her get through the next few moments. Time was traveling slowly, every second that past felt like a year and she was falling deeper and deeper into her own mind of 'what if'.

She felt the presence beside her and the hand on her knee as the person attempted to offer her comfort, it was pointless. The only comfort that was on the horizon was when a voice told her everything would be fine, and the girl waited patiently.

The young girl came into the waiting room and all the people waiting stood up instinctively in anticipation of the news. The girl studied the woman's face hoping that it might give something away, it didn't, her furrowed brow gave away nothing. No one was speaking so she swallowed hard, the sound seemed to echo around the room. Finally she found her own voice and it fell upon her to speak first.

"So…?"

"She's been rushed to the operating room, she's got internal bleeding. And…"

The world stopped and all her other words she left fell silently onto her ears. The colour and sound was fading away from the world around her and she was standing alone in a black and white planet. A numbness seeped into her veins. She was now faced with another fork in her road, deal or run…deal or run. Her chest was rapidly moving up and down, the air was refusing to stay within her lungs. And with that she chose; beginning to retreat from the hospital her mind no longer in control. The young woman felt someone try and grab her arm but she did not look at the person and instead continued to leave. She finally made it to the exit catching one fleeting glance behind her, praying that Emily would be okay.


	16. Crying blood

*****Okay i think this is going to be my last chapter. Sorry. Thanks to everyone who reviewed this.*****

Deal with it. Naomi stood outside letting the information she had just heard wash over her like the warm evening air. She was done running away that had been she'd done at the beginning of her relationship with Emily. She could not bring herself to leave the redhead not again. Naomi needed this though, she needed the fresh air crashing into her lungs. She took deep breaths feeling her lungs to fill before emptying. The blonde was emotionally and physically exhausted but her body was not going to give up and retreat. Even though Naomi could not forget what had happened between her and Emily or the fact that Emily was now with Effy, the worry that she felt for the two people in the hospital out weighed her own hurt.

"Naomi…Wait." Came a voice from behind her and the lisp gave away who it was along with the broken tone to her declaration. The blonde stopped but she refused to turn away unable to face the eyes that looks so much like Emily's. "Where the fuck are you going?" The foot steps behind her had stopped and they stood there in the hospital car park as a soft rain came down around them.

"Nowhere" Came her shattered response. She didn't know where she was going all she knew was that she had to escape.

"It looks like it to me?" Katie asked. She'd watched the blonde get up and leave and it had been almost instinct that she'd got up and followed. They had never been close and never expected that would be. "You're just going to walk out on her?"

"I'm not but she's not mine to walk out on." She said finally turning to face the twin. "She's Effy's." The words were like a blade to her heart.

"But Effy is in there too. They need us. She needs you." Katie didn't know what had brought about this change in her, but when it came to her sister all she cared about was her being okay. She couldn't lose Emily. And she needed everyone in there with her, even someone being as selfish as Naomi was being.

"What if…what if she doesn't --"

"She will." Katie snapped, she couldn't here talk like that. Naomi looked to the floor as more tears began to tumble down, she felt so exposed to the cruelty of the world. "You two might have moved on, you might be with new people. But you loved her once…fuck I'm not blind you love her now." Naomi opened her mouth to protest but she could tell that Katie saw straight through her. "If you don't come back inside you'll regret it." They stood there in silence for a while, in some way it was for comfort, they needed some space but at the same time, they needed company. So they stood there for what felt like forever just thinking each girl lost in their own thoughts.

"How long you going to stay out here?" Katie asked eventually, knowing that she herself needed to be back inside, just incase.

"Until I don't feel so numb." Naomi stated in a flat tone looking back on to the busy traffic in front of her. "I'll be back in soon."

"Freddy tried to come after you, but I figured you just needed some time." Katie looked deep into Naomi's blue eyes and she could see the truth. She could see Naomi loved Emily and Freddy was simply the fall back guy. For the first time ever Katie's heart broke a little for Naomi and she tried to smile but even that hurt, she felt instantly guilty for trying to express a gesture associated with happiness. After a slight pause she began to make her way back in.

"Why does this hurt so much?" Naomi asked her eyes transfixed on a random spot in front of her.

"It's how you know it's fucking real. But we can't stay out here all night."

"Are you sure, it's so much simpler out here. I want to get lost for a while." The honesty in the Naomi's voice caused one of the small cracks in Katie's heart to break further. Katie couldn't stand outside any longer, she needed to be in there needed to be near Emily, she'd tried to speak to Naomi but she couldn't make her come back in-. The shorter turned swiftly around when she heard footsteps following and watched as the blonde began to cat her up."Have you contacted your parents?" Naomi inquired as they began to walk back towards the hospital.

"I've tried" Katie started and then sighed deeply. "They went away for some fitness retreat or something and I can't get in touch with them." Katie was trying to be strong, trying to put on a brave face, but Naomi could tell the cracks were starting to show. Katie needed her parents here, so they could comfort her as well and right now she felt alone. The blonde didn't know why she did it but she reached down and held the shorter girls hand. She expected Katie to rip her fingers away but she didn't.

Having re-entered the hospital Naomi made a bee line for the first nurse she saw, as Katie went back to their group and the Stonem family. She needed information and most of them were rushing past so quickly that the blonde could not ask them anything. The nurse looked tired and worn, and Naomi thought it was best not to rude to the young woman.

"Excuse me, I just want to know how Emily Fitch is and Elizabeth Stonem?" She attempt to make her voice as less anxious as she could manage.

"Um, just let me go get her doctor to come and see you." The nurse replied looking around the busy hospital.

"No, because you won't come back and I need-"

"I will." Her voice was firm and Naomi wasn't quite sure whether it was because her body was so drain or not, but she believed her. "I'll go and get him and get him over to speak to you all." Naomi smiled as best she could trying to convey how much it meant to her. She walked back to the waiting room, and the look on everyone's face told her that there had been no news back yet so she waited patiently for the doctor to bring them some much needed good news. She was about to sit down when a middle aged, scruffy man come stumbling over. The first person his eye's fell on was Naomi who just stared at him hard.

"Ar…are they okay?" He asked and she could smell the alcohol mixed with his breath.

"You mean the girls you hit?" She answered quickly, her jaw tightening.

"I didn't, I didn't see them."

"I'm guessing you didn't see the red light either!" Her voice was rising now but she didn't care the anger was bubbling up inside her. "That's my friend and my girlfriend in there, if anything-" She couldn't finish the sentence, she was about to let negative thoughts float into her positive mind.

"I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"You're sorry…" Freddy who had been a little taken back by Naomi's sentence was about to react but Cook was up first who was also watching the scene. Anticipated what was going to happen Cook quickly wrapped his arms around her waist and prevented her from making contact with the clearly drunk man. Jim Stonem walked over and put his hand tenderly on Naomi's shoulder looking down at her. She could tell that he wanted he wanted to shout he wanted to scream but he was emotional spent.

"See those men over there?" The father nodded towards the door where two police officers stood. "They're going to fucking want to talk to you. And if I ever see you again, you're going to wish you'd crossed the road and gone the other way. Because I will fucking kill you if anything happens to her, do you hear me I will kill you." Jim looked to the uniformed men and put his arm around Naomi pulling her out of Cook's grip and leading her back to the chairs. The gesture felt strange, they had never really spoken before, she'd seen him maybe once or twice. But they do say grief brings the strangest people was at this point that the nurse she'd been talking to came over to them accompanied with the doctor. The nurse gave her a smile as if to confirm that she wouldn't let the girl down.

"Mr and Mrs Stomen?" The male doctor asked, the group seemed to be waiting on the edge of their seats. Although Freddy's eyes were occasionally looking to Naomi hoping that she might cast him a glance, she never did.

"Yes?" Anthea said as both the adults stood up.

"Is she alright?""Yes she's fine considering. Just cuts and bruising and a broken rip, nothing that won't heal. She's sleeping at the moment but you are more than welcome to go and see her if you want." The duo slowly began to nod their heads as relief began to wash over them."Alright." The doctor turned and led the way to another room.

"Wait!" Katie suddenly said standing up. "What about my sister what about Emily?"

The nurse stopped and starred at the young women who in that moment just looked like a little girl. "The surgery has only just started, it will be a while yet. I promise I will keep you informed." She offered Katie a soft smile and that must have been enough as she sat down again. Naomi watched as Cook gently put his arm around her and she leaned into him. Naomi couldn't help but see how much he had changed, yes he was still the same person but there was a maturity there now.

"I'll be at the nurses station if you need me. Maybe you should think about going home and getting some sleep and coming back in a few hours." The nurse said,

"We'll stay." Cook said looking around to his friends silently agreed with him and then the woman left the group there occupying most of the waiting room.

Pandora who was wrapped in Thomas' arms finally looked up her eyes swollen from the tears she had been crying. "They'll both be fine yeah?"

"Yes my angel." Thomas told her but there seemed to be some doubt lingering in his eyes that seemed to go unnoticed by everyone but Naomi.


	17. Miss you love

*****I really thought i could just walk away from this fic without finishing it...turns out i couldn't. So hear is another chapter, i know the hospital is getting boring but only one more chapter after this is in the hos and then it's all back on track for heart break. Thanks for reading. Let me know who you want you think, do we want Effy/Emily or Emily/Naomi?!?. Thanks for reading and the reviews!*** **

Naomi was tired. She felt like she'd been in the hospital for days, the group hardly spoke, only answer questions such as; "Do you want a drink?" Freddy was sitting alone in the corner, having hardly spoken at all and she was too drained to ask him what was wrong so instead left him alone. Feeling sluggish she decided to get up and walk around, the doctors still hadn't come out of surgery with Emily and waiting for news was slowly driving her insane. Unconsciously her feet eventually lead her to the room were Effy lay, and instead of her parents laying over her bed, it was a young man. She watched as he tenderly held her hand, not in a way that lovers do but something deeper. And that's when she realized that must have been her brother.

"What you doing in here eh?" He asked softly to her and Naomi felt like she was prying on a private moment, but she couldn't seem to leave the door way. "Just because you're in here doesn't mean I'm not mad at you for getting yourself in here." He left out a soft chuckle. "What would I do without you Effy, you see through all my bullshit, you see through me." Gently he pushed a few strands of hair out of her face while she slept. "You going to come in?" Naomi was taken aback that he had noticed her, and wondered for a moment if he was talking to her since he was facing away from her. "You can come in." Naomi felt strange entering the room but he feet lead her in anyway.

The blonde looked down at the sleeping girl taking in how truly vulnerable and helpless she looked. Her face had a couple of raw purple bruises and fresh cuts across the left side of her face. "I'm wasn't shocked when my parents rang to say she was in hospital." Naomi didn't say anything, she simply stood there waiting for him to get out what he clearly wanted to say. "I mean I was shocked it was a car crash, but not the hospital bit. She's so scared, always scared. I think it's of feeling, not being control and perhaps she scared of becoming our parents. Fuck." Tony rubbed his face with his hands. "I'm Tony by the way her brother."

"Naomi." The blonde said looking back at Effy.

"Tony…" Effy crocked out and the sitting male instinctively took Effy's hand again lightly in his own.

"Yeah." He said with a half smile the relief clear on his face. "I'm here."

"W-what…Emily…god…the car." Her eyes began to flutter open quickly as the events came flooding back to her and Effy began to try and sit up as her screwed up with the pain the sudden movement caused down her ribs. However Tony softly pushed her shoulder down.

"Shh, Eff…everything is fine it's okay." He said trying to calm her and although the younger was now laying down her eyes had started to well up with tears, and Naomi didn't know if that was through pain or the memory of what happened.

"I'm so sorry I didn't see the car, I really didn't."

"It's alright, he ran a red light, it was not your fault okay." Naomi spoke, her voice was quiet and laced with comfort, as blue eyes turned to see blue.

"Emily, is she…is she alright?" The brunette asked looking desperately at sat there conflicted, standing in the middle between a lie and the truth, she considered telling the truth but she knew that Effy already felt guilty enough and she had no intention of placing more on her shoulders.

"She's all right Effy."

"Really?" Her voice was barely even a whisper and Naomi saw the hope appear on the girl's face and was not about to watch it come crashing down, she stuck with the lie, it might turn into the truth…at least she hoped it would.

"Yes, really, she's fine. You need to get some rest. I'm not going any-"

"Naomi I'm sorry." Effy interrupted her eyes now closing.

"I know but it wasn't your fau-"

"No, ab-about me and Emily."

"Don't now isn't the time." Naomi didn't want to hear this, there were more important things happening.

"I couldn't help it." The blonde watched as sleep started to over take the small girl. "You understand falling in love with her, it isn't a choice." A yawn escaped her lips before slumber captured her. Naomi sat there for a while, trying to ignore the raging pain in side her heart. Effy was in love with Emily. It felt as if the room had suddenly gotten very small and all the air was being sucked from it. Feeling the need for air she quickly exited the room not evening saying goodbye to Tony and slowly she walked around to where everyone was sitting. And suddenly another thought entered her head; did Emily love her in return? However she was not permitted to entertain this thought for long.

"Did you see Effy?" JJ enquired when he saw the girl approach the group from the direction of the brunette's hospital room. He looked tired and worn out although he was attempting to hid it; the bags under his eyes giving him away, he looked like he had aged so much in the past three hours. It was at that moment when she realized for the first time what a strong group they were really, no one had left, they were staying to comfort each other, and to make sure their friends were okay. Naomi nodded her head slowing trying to figure out how regain the function of speech.

"Um…Yeah, she's alright. She woke up for a bit but she's fallen back to sleep. Her brother is in there with her."

"Good." He replied, as his eyes went to a doctor who came walking towards them with a clip board in his hands. All the group stood up expectantly. Katie walked away from cook to stand at the front.

"Katie?" He asked and she nodded. "Right well the surgery went very well, we've stopped all the bleeding, luckily no organs where injured. She took a hard knock to the head and we won't know the seriousness of that until she wakes up but I believe she will be fine. She'll take a while to come round and she'll be a little sore and we'll need to run a few more test but I think your sister is going to come through this just fine." The relief was clear to see as it was lifted from Katie's shoulders, ignoring any of the negative responses that left his mouth. "Did you want to see her?" Katie nodded and for the first time she genuinely smiled.

Naomi watched her go and basically collapsed back onto the chair, tears began to sting the corners of her eyes in release. _'Thank god'_ she thought silently to herself before looking at Freddy who looked tired and hurt. She knew they had come to an end, she could tell by his troubled brown eyes that he knew it as well.

****

It felt as if days had past in the waiting room, Naomi's body was craving sleep however it would not take her over. She was just waiting for anyone to come and tell her that this had all been a dream but unfortunately reality was still keeping hold of her. Katie came and sat beside her.

"You get in contact with your parents yet?" The blonde asked as she fought back a yawn.

"Yeah. Finally. They're going to get the next flight home."

"That's good." Conversation was a stretch for both girls, they were so exhausted even exchanging pleasant chat was an effort.

"Did you wanna go and see her?" She asked shooting a look over to Freddy who was asleep across the room. Naomi didn't expect this change in Katie to last forever but this different side of the girl was a complete contrast to the girl she'd known since college.

"You sure?" Naomi asked quickly before Katie could change her mind.

"Yeah. She still hasn't woken up yet but you can sit with her." Naomi smile genuinely at Katie before getting up and walking away, he sights were firmly set on the room she was about to approach. Taking a deep breath she opened the door and seeing the image of Emily in the bed caused her heart to shatter instantly. The redhead lay unconscious her face covered with grazes and bruises with a bandage over her forehead were 10 stitches sat underneath. The moment she sat down Naomi couldn't keep her bubbling feels hidden any longer and she leaned over the bed and started to sob.

****

"Please." Effy begged and Tony sighed in defeat.

"Okay but don't go telling Shell." His sister smiled as she watched him leave. The plan was simple Tony would go and flirt with the nurse so that Effy could sneak out and go and see Emily. She needed to go and apologise to her girlfriend, she needed to see those brown eyes. Poking her head around the corner she waited for Tony's sign and when it came she quickly disappeared down the corridor.

Effy held her side as she stumbled along, the pain creeping up her ribs. But she knew it would all be worth it when she saw that smile. That fucking smile. Effy knew it. Knew that with reason and without understanding it, that she had somehow fallen in love with Emily. And maybe now wasn't the right time to confess this love, but was there ever a right time? The events of the camping had been forgotten in the fear of losing her. She was about to reach the door and turn into the room when she head a low sob.

"Emily...I know people think I'm this tough person who doesn't get scared, and I'm not scared right now, I'm terrified Em." Effy recognized the voice, it was Naomi and perhaps she should have walked away from this private moment but she couldn't. "You need to pull through this okay. That isn't a question, you're going to pull through this." The blonde broke down again._ 'Pull through this?' _Effy thought to herself, Naomi had said Emily was fine. Her stomache dropped in fear but she continued to listen."You're the strong one, I'm a mess, I need you next to me telling me everything is going to work out." Feeling brave Effy looked into the room only to see Naomi take Emily's hand and kiss it. Within her already knotted insides it felt like a wild beast had been let loose and Effy tried to rein it in. "I would give anything to swap places with you, I love you so much, you don't deserve to be in that bed, you're one of the best things this world has ever created. I have screwed up with you over and over but I'm not losing you. So you hurry up and get better. I need you, that's what it comes down to. You weren't just my other half, you were my better half. Please." Effy felt the tears start to sting her eyes and knew that she could no longer stay listening to this and began to run back to her room ignoring the pain spearing her side.

"Efy…" Cough Emily. "Effy?" The redhead's dry voice asked and Naomi's heart dropped.

The brunette reached her room and fell onto the bed crying, unable to bottle it up like she usually would.

"Eff?" Tony asked as she quickly walked over to her. "Are you alright? Do you need a doctor?" He asked concerned.

"I'm losing her. Why? I didn't fucking want this Tony. I tried so hard."

"What?" He asked still slightly confused.

"You can't make someone love you." She tried to explain through sobs.

"Emily?" He asked a little confused.

"Fuck. I love her." Effy told him meeting his blue eyes that matched her. "But i don't think she loves me." Tony held his sister as he tried to piece it all together with Effy, Naomi and Emily. Remember his own love triangle and how much that had hurt. Love was never easy for the stonem's.


End file.
